4|| Insecurities

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Shehnaaz POV :

" Shehnaaz beta kya sonch rahe hai tu " I heard my mother as I was making her bed .

( Shehnaaz dear what are you thinking )

" kuch nahi maa bas " I said correcting the pillow , taking another sheet I spread it on the ground making my bed their .

( Nothing mom just like that )

" Ider aa bait bol mujhe konse baat tujhe pareshan kar rahe hai " my mother asked taking my hands in her making me sit beside her on the bed .

( Come here and sit , now say what is bothering you )

I sighed knowing she won't leave me untill I tell her , " maa vo log itne Amir hai aur pade likhe hai , phir mujhse kyun shadi karne hai unhe " I asked the thought is eating my mind .

( Mom they are so rich and educated , why they want to marry me )

Yes I remembered very well he said he is ready to marry me because I'm his grandfather choice but when I become their choice out of no where . I was not from their class nor I even completed my education . I'm nothing compared to anyone so why me ? .

" Tum he kyun ? Iska mere pass koi jawab nahi hai Shehnaaz lakin jodiyan bhagwan banata hai . Agar uperwale ne tum dono ko ek rishte me banda hai tho kuch kyun ke jawab nhi hote " maa said making me more confuse . Seeing my confused face she chuckled .

( Why you ? I don't have any answer dear . God makes the pairs if God United you guys together then for some questions their is no answer )

" Meri gudiya hai he itni pyaari koi bhi pasand kar lega " she said .

( And my princess is so lovely , everyone like you )

" Hume dar lag raha hai maa " I said keeping my head in her lap and her fingers caressed her hairs . I'm scared damn scared to think about living my home , my mother the only family I have till now . How will I live with him , his family they are still stranger to me .

( Mom I'm afraid )

" Mujhe tho ladka bahut pasand aya , kitne ache sanskar hai . Bado ki izat karna , kitna mehnati hai . Pratap ji ne bataya kaise vo din raat ek kar ke kam karta hai , aj ke zamane me kon milega jo apne dadu ki pasand ke ladke se shadi kare " she praised him making an unknown sensation passed through my body , I smiled agreeing to her .

( I like the boy , he is ethics manners and respects elders . And Pratap sir had informed he works hard day and night . In today's generation where will we find a guy like him who agrees to marry a girl , who is grandfather's choice )

" Main haa bol diya beta unhe " she asked me I looked up at her getting up from her lap I said " maa aap ko chod ke main kaise ... " .

( I had said Yes to them )

( Mom how will I leave you alone )

" Sana mera bacha tum meri fikar chod do apne faisla batao , kya tum kush ho Sidharth se shadi ke liye " she asked .

( Dear you don't worry about me , say what's your answer Are you happy with this marriage )

" Mujhe nahi karne shadi maa , aapko chod kar nahi jana mujhe " saying I cried hiding myself in her embrace .

( I don't want to marry , i don't want to leave you and go )

She caressed my hairs patting my back she said " ek na ek din har ladki ko shadi kar ke Vida karna hota hai beta . Aur mai tumare liye itna acha ristha kabhi dund ke nahi la paungi " .

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