A Little Wicked

41. King's Cross

CHAPTER 41

KING'S CROSS

'Stories like this don't have happy endings...' Lily had once said '...because there are no happy endings for people like you and people like him, both in our world and in his world!!!'

In the moment he heard those words, Harry believed it was just his mother's extreme reaction against his relationship with Cedric, a "forbidden union" between a pure-blood wizard and a Muggle boy; he also believed (or preferred to believe) that she was wrong and that he would eventually prove that his story would have a happy ending, with his own choices and with his lover.

But Harry was wrong.

Wrong about what he believed, wrong about Cedric and him, wrong about everything: what Lily told him turned out to be not only true but also quite prophetic – stories like his, of people like him, didn't have happy endings.

It never could.

Harry learned of this after losing Cedric and was "remembered" as he left the Cullens' mansion after his latest attempt to set things right with the vampire family - to no avail. Eventually, he returned home and cried in his friends' arms more than he could or was possible, as the grief of reliving his traumatic past and the despair caused by his then-boyfriend's final decision burned like fire the little what was left of him, except for a single feeling that has grown over the past few months and struggled to resist – hope.

Even with his vision compromised by tears and lack of glasses, even with his body and mind aching from the exhaustion of the last few days and weak from the hunger of not having fed, Harry clung on his hope and did what he could – he waited: with eyes fixed on the bedroom window, he waited for the arrival of the bronze-haired, golden-eyed vampire... He waited to be forgiven, waited to be saved, waited for a miracle, for mercy...

If Edward showed up and forgave him, Harry would make everything right, he would strive to be as good as the Cullens tried to be. He would fight to the last fiber of his being against the Dark Lord and the enemies who wished them harm. He would do anything to take care of the love he had and the happiness he had experienced over the last few months, happiness that he believed he could never feel again – he would do it all, because Edward had given him hope.

So he waited.

Harry waited for hours, until daybreak.

But Edward didn't come.

'I don't want to see you anymore!' the vampire's hard and cold voice haunted him again, 'You are a monster!'.

A monster...

Harry was a monster.

Yes...

Monsters weren't worthy of compassion, forgiveness, let alone love or being loved. Monsters like him didn't deserve second chances, let alone happy endings – these were meant for good people, not people like him, already born corrupt and prone to being evil.

At dawn on that cold, dark Halloween day, Harry's hope and dreams died, leaving him with nothing as he had come to Forks along with his initial plan: to sacrifice himself during the Blood Moon to prevent Lucifer's coming, leaving Ron and Hermione to destroy his body, the physical vessel of the fallen angel.

He should die.

There were no more tears, he had no more strength, but he knew what he had to do – he knew from the start that it was right.

And so, under the starry sky and the Blood Moon, in Edward's flowery meadow (a simple way to have him "close") and beside his two best friends that Harry walked to his death - he wouldn't find peace, his soul wouldn't be freed, but at least that would bring some kind of redemption, at least that's what he hoped.