Parking Lot Kids

Chapter 22: She Knows

Senior Year: Late Thanksgiving Break

Remus

Everything that I had eaten in the last 12 hours was coming up, as I emptied my stomach in the toilet. My eyes watered from the burn of my throat. I dry heaved again at the nausea that crept through my whole body.

"Remus honey? Are you okay in there?" Hope spoke from the other side of the door.

I rubbed my hand across my forehead feeling it drenched in a cold sweat. The anxiety of the unanswered texts sat on me, crushing me along with the withdrawal effects of not having taken a single pill since the night of the party. I had left the dorm in such a distraught state, that the forgotten pills were left in the medicine cabinet.

So here I sat, leaning desperately against the toilet seat, breathing as little as I could to prevent anything more to come up, although I didn't think there was anything left. My body felt so heavy yet so hollow. A sob escaped, it was silent yet it felt like I was gasping for air.

"Remus, I'm going to come in," The door squeaked open, and Hope was crouched next to me before I could even argue, although I don't think words would even leave my mouth before my body would protest the little movement. "What's wrong, Rem?"

She pushed the hair stuck to my forehead and ran her fingers through my hair, rubbing my back, like a mother would. A mother , and before I can stop myself I'm sobbing into Hope's shoulder. How ironic her name is, the first woman who shows me motherly love, and I weep, selfishly hoping that this won't go away.

___

I wake in my bed, a glass of water on my nightstand and a small trash can next to me. My stomach still churned. I wiped the cold sweat from my brow, while reaching out to grab my phone. Still no texts from anyone. God, I really need those pills right now.

I swung my legs out of bed and trudged to the bathroom down the hall that Hope and Lyall shared. When I first came to live with the Lupins, Hope mentioned something about Lyall having back surgery, so I assumed he probably had some pain killers left over. I was hoping for oxys, but honestly anything would do at this point.

I barely recognized the person staring back at me from the mirrored medicine cabinet. He had the same long, white scars, but his eyes were sunken behind dark circles and his cheeks seemed pale, almost gaunt. I ran my fingers over my face, as if to see if that reflection was really me before I opened the cabinet.

Inside were an assortment of glass nail polish bottles, Lyall's razor, and yes thank god pill bottles. Advil, Tylenol, cough suppressants. No, not strong enough. I rustle around the top shelf a little more when my hand finds a slim, orange bottle. The label had Lyall's name on it and...perfect Oxycontin. I shake a few pills into my hand before I hear the floor by the door creaking.

"Remus? What are you doing in here bud?"

Shit. I angle myself to hide the hand putting the pill bottle back into its original position on the shelf. "Oh, just trying to find some Advil. My head is killing me."

Lyall pushes the door open further as I slip my other hand into the pocket of my sweatpants. "Why didn't you just ask? Hope or I could have gotten it for you."

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you guys," I lie, while Lyall continues to walk toward me.

"Rem, you don't look so good, do you need to lie down?"

I close the door of the medicine cabinet and lean against the sink. "No, I'm fine. Just missing my friends and a little headache."

"Well, if you'd rather be at school I'd be happy to drive you. Hope is in her studio working and I'm bored so..."

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks Lyall." He pulls me in for a quick hug before I can evade him, and I have to admit I didn't hate it.

When he releases me, I go back to my room, take out one of the pills from my pocket, and swallow it with a gulp of the water from my nightstand. Usually, I take them dry but I'm pretty sure I'd throw up again if I did that today. I emptied the little plastic bag Hope used to pack me some "essentials" for my return to school, and dropped the oxys into it. Then I stuffed it and the rest of my shit into my backpack. Time to go see what the fuck happened while I was gone.

___

I walked up the steps of Gryffindor, and strolled my way slowly back to me and Peter's dorm, hoping to see someone but alas no one appeared. The dorm was cold and empty, and it felt almost unfamiliar from the long weekend spent at the Lupin's.

I slung the backpack off my back and onto the ground, before I headed to the bathroom for the 'band-aid' box. Right where I had left it, I picked it up and shook. The beloved sound of pills rattling filled me with such happiness that I kissed the box and laughed with triumph.

I checked to see if anyone had texted, but the luck had seemed to run out, still left on delivered. But, there's no harm in trying again.

*Marauders Group Chat*

14:07 Moony: Came back to hogwart early, anyone down to hangout?

But nothing came, and I grew impatient. I have to confront them, you can't ghost someone when you are face to face. So that's what I do. I exit the room, and knock at James and Sirius', but it's weirdly silent. Then Peter opened the door.

"Oh, hey Remus," Peter squeaked.

"Why the fuck were y'all ignoring me this whole break?!"

"Remus we need to talk," Lily said from somewhere in the room.

"Talk about you ignoring me for the WHOLE fucking break! Not a single 'Happy Thanksgiving' or 'Remus where are you, break's over'!" I walked further into the room, to see not not only Lily, but Dorcas, Marlene, and Mary all intensely watching from inside the dorm.

"Why should we be asking where you are when you tell us nothing about yourself!"

"Why the fuck does that matter, it's not like y'all asked!"

"It matters because we were friends! More than friends!"

"Were!? What the fuck, you're dropping me just because I didn't tell you what my favorite fucking color was?! That doesn't even make sense." I looked helplessly at James and Peter. Peter was staring at the ground, avoiding eye contact with me, while James looked furious.

"No Remus, I'm not dropping you because I don't know your favorite color, I'm just done putting up with your shit!"

"What shit? Me saving Sirius from being homeless? Probably saved your ears from the complaining."

This time it was Sirius who shouted, "I told you that in confidence asshole! It was my problem to sort out. You know, for someone who never deals with their own shit, you sure have your nose in everyone else's!"

"And dick in everyone else too!" Lily chimed in.

"Oh! So Sirius also can't keep his mouth closed, especially when it comes to Barty Cooch." I spat sarcastically.

"At least I keep it clean, who knows how many people you've let inside your mouth whore!"

"Your brother didn't seem to mind," James tensed up, with my last comment but before James could do anything Lily slapped me across the face.

"You're such a dick Remus," Lily stepped back, and for the first time I could see how genuinely upset Lily was. It made the sting on my cheek even worse.

"Oh shit! Lily's looking like your dad right now Remus! Hope that doesn't leave a scar," Sirius smirked.

"Fuck you Black," and with that I walked out of the dorm.