once upon a heartbreak ; jungwon

nineteen

they stood in the old equipment room beside the rooftop which no one used anymore after sunoo had successfully made the curious crowd think they went behind the school.

they could see all the students gather behind the school, looking for them, looking for the drama.

they both settled in the old dusty room, sitting face to face and sunoo took her hands in his.

he had the brightest smile on his face while hers was tear-striken.

"hey it's okay. i'm here." he comforted her.

she hated how it was always him. him to comfort her, be by her side, make her smile.

"j-jungwon, he said that... he said he hates me." she managed to let out between sobs.

"i know, i know. i watched you. i'm proud of you for speaking up to him. but i think this whole situation has gotten a closure now so i don't want you to think about it. i don't want you to lose your mind over him."

the next few minutes were spent in silence, heiryung shedding tears and sunoo watching her ever so calmly, comforting her without a word.

it strongly reminded her of the night of jungwon's birthday, the night she had cried about him and sunoo had comforted her.

how he had been angry at her just a few days ago.

and now he was smiling like an idiot. just for her.

"sunoo..." she spoke up and he attentively fixed his eyes on hers, with a welcoming smile. "this might not be the right time to say it but i don't think there ever will be a right time. so i've been meaning to tell you this-"

"no." he interrupted ever so softly, for a moment she thought she was just hearing things.

"huh what?"

"don't say it hei. i know what you are about to say. don't say it. don't make it worse for me." he pleaded with his eyes, his smile intact.

heiryung got up onto her knees, now her grabbing his hands.

"let me. i think i like-"

"you don't."

"what's wrong with you sunoo?" she slumped down, not letting go of his hands and started crying again out of frustration.

"look at me hei, and listen carefully. you don't... like me." tears trickled down his cheeks as he had the purest smile on his face, there was no way he faked it.

"you just think you like me, when in reality you don't. you're so in love with jungwon, can't you see? you're not ready to give him up afterall. your mind is playing tricks on you, just because i helped you a couple times it made you think you like me."

"it's more than you helping me a couple times, sunoo!" heiryung said in a whisper, afraid he'll disappear like a dream if she made a sound, "you've done everything for me. you always put me first. you never cared about yourself. you're such a selfless  person. i could keep on talking about you forever."

"that's... that's really sweet hei. but just listen to me one last time. don't do this to me. i've loved you for a long time now. don't hurt me anymore, don't give me false hope."

"you love me too! what's the problem sunoo? we can be happy for once, together."

"close your eyes hei."

"sunoo what-"

"shh, just close your eyes and dont open them 'til i tell you to."

heiryung sat down cross legged, leaving his hands making herself feel empty. she obediently closed her eyes, trying her best to digest the situation.

"tell me how you see him. despite your fight right now, do you not see him all in his glory, smiling at you, together since childhood? do you not see him all in his good? and do you... see me where you see him?"

heiryung held back a sob knowing his point. he was so so right. she had failed to understand herself, not only hurting herself but sunoo too. 

he leaned towards her ear and whispered softly, "you have all the answers, hei. take care, let's meet someday again."

she bit her lip to hold it all back.

there was a slight pause and then she felt his lips press against her forehead, lingering there for a second or two.

she heard his footsteps retreating yet she didn't open her eyes.

she was so scared that it all was real, that he was gone- that everything had come to an end.