Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Just as I tiptoe into my room, my phone vibrates. I wonder if it is Rutu.
Nandish_Nair08 requested to follow you.
Nandish? I squint my eyes to look at the profile picture. Looks like a grown up version of the head boy I knew back in school.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes.
I entered the world of Nandish's charm when I became the head girl. My best friend Nikhar who had been pairing us since 8th grade was thrilled. She thought that we were destined to be together and the time we would spend together planning events and handling matters would surely bring us close. According to her, it was the perfect opportunity for me to act on my feelings that had made their way into my heart after being in the periphery of his witty comments and light-hearted jokes. Oh and of course, his dusky complexion, and lopsided smile added to his easygoing demeanor.
But I surprised Nikhar by keeping my distance. That was the first time I realised that I had a strong sense of ethics. Forbidden romances behind the library shelves weren't my thing. I realised that I liked living without complications.
Hence I constructed clear boundaries between us. But as they say, you can hide the fire but it is the smoke that gives you away.
Gradually, I allowed Nandish to become a good friend, justifying my actions by saying that since there can't be anything else between us, let there be friendship.
I also came to understand that I am terrible at masking my feelings. Coating the orignal emotion with another is not something I like or am able to do.
Nandish took the hint that I liked him. And confessed his feelings to me. Promising that we would make it work.
It was the day of the farewell. I thought about our different career choices and the complications that would arise from a long distance relationship. And the answer became apparent to me. With a heavy heart and tearful eyes, I had to refuse the boy kneeling down in front of me.
Was I a coward? Did I not like him enough to take that risk? What would have happened if I would have given our obvious chemistry a chance to blossom into something more?
These questions bugged me until I decided to cut all contacts with him. We both had agreed to move on.
And I had never heard about him or from him untill this moment.
Nandish_Nair08 requested to follow you.
I shook my head. Why, Nandu? Why?
I am about to switch the phone off and go to sleep when it vibrates again.
