Match Made In Hotel | Ruturaj Gaikwad ✓

Seizure

Kritika
8th April, 2019, Chennai.

"Thirty six minutes. My Akka has been getting ready for the past thirtyyyy six minutes. The Kritika Pillai who used to say that time spent in front of mirror is time wasted spends 36 minutes getting ready. Somebody pinch me please"

I watch Devi literally pinch herself as I finish putting my right earring in its place.

"And what do you think about the outcome?" I ask her, turning so that she could see the back of my blue dress as well.

"Wearing your boyfriend's favourite colour - check. Looking hot as well as cute - check. Rutu's going to..."

She clutches her chest and pretends to faint on the bed. I can't help but laugh at her antics.

I adjust the strap of my bracelet one last time before grabbing my purse. I feel my veins throbbing with excitement and anticipation.

"Have fu-" she stops speaking when she sees Appa in the doorway.

His body language tells me that something has bothered him deep enough to not ask questions about my attire. I notice how tightly he's clutching his phone.
He motions us to come out. We nod.

As we enter the hall, I notice Amma pacing up and down.

Before I can ask, Appa answers, "Nandu had called. From what I understood, Srinivas is having seizures. I was going to leave immediately but Nandu sounded as if he'd need you tonight."

I nod in understanding, following Appa towards the shoe rack.

"I'm coming too. Anita might feel better."

She hugs Devi tightly. "Don't worry about us, okay? The dinner's ready. You need your sleep."

Devi opens her mouth but closes it. Defeated under the weight of Board Exams. I give her a squeeze before leaving.

******

Watching Nandish's motionless face, I understood why Appa figured he needed help.

As he watched his father's body erupt into convulsions there was a defiance on his  face. He was not willing to accept what was happening in front of him.

I put a hand on his shoulder. He looks at me and then looks away. 

After a few minutes, he speaks up. "He has been having seizures for half an hour. T-to watch his body shake l-like t-hat..." I finally see his features show signs of pain. I rub his back as he breaks down in the hospital lobby.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see Amma hugging Anita aunty.

One thing about pain is, the more you try to numb it's effect, the stronger it hits you later. Now that Nandu and Anita aunty had accepted the bitter visuals in front of them, they were experiencing an overwhelming sense of ache.

Amma used to say that when words don't work, embraces do. Hence I caress his cheek and take him in a tight embrace. I feel his tears leave a stain on my blue dress.

Before I know it, tears start flowing from my eyes. They are an embodiment of what the past two hours have been - an absolute struggle. Watching Nandu go through something as terrible as this and yet not being able to stop thinking about how Rutu must have felt due to my absence sends waves of guilt-mixed sadness throughout my body.

******

Amidst the form filling, and hushed conversations, I dial Ruturaj's number.

Just when I'm about to call him, I get a call from an unknown number.

Argghhhh. I immediately cut it.

Huh. It says his phone is switched off. I'm about to try again when I see the senior doctor coming out and asking for Appa.

******

We make sure that the Nairs have some food while Srinivas uncle rests. I have to force Nandu to stop Googling PNES again and again.

Him staring at the screen that says, "Psychogenic nonepileptic seizures are paroxysmal episodes that are psychological (i.e., emotional, stress-related) in origin," is only making him more anxious.

I leave a message for Ruturaj.

Rutu, I'm terribly sorry for not being able to make it today. Nandu's father has been admitted to the hospital. Here with the Nair family right now. I tried reaching you but couldn't.
Please let me know if you're fine.

Wiping a fresh tear, I feel tiredness taking over. Personally, I have always felt that crying drains a lot of energy and today is just another example of that. With Nandu's head on my shoulder and my head on Amma's, I fall asleep.

******

I wake up with a jerk. My first instinct is to check the time. 4.36am. I recall Rutu saying that they are supposed to take an early, 6.30am flight today.

After leaving a message for Amma with the receptionist, I exit the hospital, determined to reach the airport as soon as possible.

******