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A/n ~decided to publish this draft. After all birthday jo hai :) To our Rutu. 🥂
Familiarity. The extent to which Nandish was familiar with me used to once affect me a lot. The way he used to pick up the fallen petals of my expressions and weave the exact replica of what I was thinking used to excite and frighten me.
I am an all or nothing person. Around Nandish, I had to force myself to oscillate between giving everything and yet withholding some part of me. The void that took birth after school ended was too heavy to manage.
But as they say, time heals everything, this void gradually ended up in the least explored corner of my heart. I expected this void to celebrate it's death at it's master's arrival.
I expected to react strongly after being exposed to Nandish after all these years.
I waited for the pain or regret to come in. But in vain. All I felt was nostalgia.
That's when I realised that I had indeed managed to unhinge the part of me that held onto the familiarity of him.
This realization has put me in a good mood and now I'm able to engage with the Nairs effortlessly.
I notice Amma eyeing me occasionally.
When I catch her expression, I see the ghost of a smile on her face.
I never told Amma the details of my fallout with Nandish but somehow she always knew. I could see it in her sad eyes that day. I almost felt as if she was going to encourage me to accept my feelings but didn't. She just heard me. And held me. And that's all I needed to heal.
******
As we near the target, I get changed into the saree from the morning. Sri uncle and Anita aunty have already left. Nandish stayed. Insisting on accompanying me to the hotel and back.
I was going to straightaway refuse him saying that I can very well drive myself to the hotel and back but Appa thought that it'd be a nice way to catch up with him. And I admit that indeed, there's some catching up long due.
It's astonishing how at times it is very difficult to treat the person in the same way as earlier when you have a long string of years between you and them.
Hence for the first five minutes of the ride there's utter silence.
Just when I'm about to speak up my phone rings.
"Hi Rutu!" I say happily. I wish I had brought headphones. Now I have no option but to put the phone on speaker. No worries, let Nandish hear his sweet voice.
"Kriti!" I'm met with his excited voice.
I chuckle as I hear the buzzing voices around him. He must be calling from the bus, for the noise of vehicles in the background is accompanied by the familiar voices of Watto, Vijay and DJ.
"How was it?" I ask, trying to be discreet.
"Wonderful. The energy is so... wow that I don't even know what to say. The crowds yaar Kriti, their chants!"
I grin, imagining his awestruck face.
"And you know even though everyone's not happy with how slow the pitch turned today, there's this energy in the air. It's electrifying."
I imagine him, sitting amongst the players, giddy with passion and I feel my heart swell with happiness.
"Oh wait, are you driving?" He asks all of a sudden. Switching from the excited boy to the ever observant man in a heartbeat.
I roll my eyes fondly. "Uh-oh."
"Uh-oh is the way to put it. I'm cutting the call. See you at the hotel."
"Alright, see you soon."
It's surprising how I get aware of Nandish's gaze only after I cut the call.
"Rutu as in Ruturaj Gaikwad?" He asks with a slight raise in his eyebrows.
I smile as I nod positively.
"Woah so you're friends with a cricketer?!"
Umm how's that different from being a friend of a human?
"Uh, yes. Now please don't ask me for autographs from any players because I'm not going to oblige."
He lets out a hearty chuckle.
"No, I won't. I'm sorry I reacted a little strongly. I mean cricketers are human beings too at the end of the day, aren't they?"
See this was what I was talking about.
"Exactly."
"Moreover he's lucky to have a friend like you."
Oh please. Is he flirting? I'll never know because I have to park my car and get down.
I shake my head. "I'm the one who's lucky." I mutter softly as I enter the hotel.
Everyone has this big smile on their face. Especially the ones who are welcoming a team after their win for the first time.
I feel goosebumps rising on my skin as I hear the loud music, and see glimpses of their faces amidst a shower of yellow confetti.
It's a struggle to keep my smile professional and not grin from ear to ear.
Especially when I see him smiling that wide.
Our eyes meet. He nods his head ever so slightly and I do the same. I'm about to look away in order to avoid suspicions when his expression takes a melancholic turn.
Oh.
I register how difficult it is for him to keep moving forward without stopping by. My heart aches when he sighs.
And this is how I end up in his room breaking all protocols with a friend waiting for me in the parking lot.
But everything is worth the risk when I watch his face light up.
