My Feeble Half

21. Surprises

The grey wolf watched as those majestic antlers he had been so smitten for, disappeared in the distance, without a word. No warning, no explanations. He was perplexed, lost. He didn't understand the older's odd behaviour and it worried him. Whatever the deer must've had on his mind, surely was incomprehensible. He nevertheless felt somewhat saddened, sure, Legoshi was worried for the red deer, though he felt a sudden weight in his heart. It pained him to watch the one of his dreams walk away from him, not a word.

He felt so alone then, the two were trying to become closer, become friends, ones that cared for each other, yet it felt like the deer was slipping away. Running away from him. He didn't know if Louis was fed up with his company, fully dreading his decision, regretting ever befriending him. He didn't know for sure but it scarred him nonetheless. He felt so lonely.

He wished that the deer had told him something, unfolded these woes of his. Told him anything, even the simplest thing that could explain his behaviour. Tell him if something was wrong then maybe he could help. Could give a hand, do anything in his power to make the older content, anything. Though at the end of the day, Louis just couldn't seem to confide in the wolf, not even in the slightest.

His heart ached at the thought but even then he knew that someone's trust couldn't be obtained easily. It didn't work like that, Louis didn't fully trust him and Legoshi wasn't surprised. I'm overthinking this, he thought to himself, interrupting his overwhelming train of thoughts. It's okay if Louis doesn't trust me yet, I understand-- "I wouldn't trust me either," he muttered under his breath before sighing.

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He had darted towards those antlers at full tilt. Those antlers he had always known, grown so fond of, these antlers were his saviour at that moment. Mobaru was the only one that could help. He ran up to him, completely ignoring the grey haired critter behind him. He felt rather morose about leaving the younger behind, without a word. He didn't want to abandon him that way but Louis knew that if he had stayed in the other's presence any longer, he'd certainly ruin everything.

This complex relationship, all of it would crumble. These odd, cumbersome feelings that built up couldn't be stopped. Then he knew, he understood why everything seemed quite different with the wolf. He could finally comprehend why he'd act differently, how he spoke differently or how everything about the younger seemed so enticing.

He didn't want to accept it but then he knew, the answers were clear in his head. He kept on reminding himself of how treacherous it was to associate oneself with a predator but he himself couldn't keep his distance. He couldn't turn away, couldn't turn a blind eye. He couldn't escape this, he was never capable of doing so, the young man put himself in that position, a dangerous yet bewitching position.

Now he understood why he would always want the distance between them to close up. He understood why he fantasised the other's warmth, the feeling of their fur brushing against one another, the electricity it created.

How he wished he could gaze into those dark ebony eyes, even for a moment, just look at them up close. Drown in them. Perhaps they could gaze back at him with this tenderness and care they held. Every detail mattered but he couldn't put them into words.

Louis sat down on the wooden bench next to the elk, in an abrupt manner, startling the latter. The red deer puffed heavily before leaning back against the wooden material. Mobaru, still surprised by the sudden appearance of his friend, sighed, trying to find the right questions to ask.