My Feeble Half

42. Alleviate the Woes

4.12

Father and son sat in comfortable silence across each other in the spacious living room of their mansion - book in hands. Well, it would be considered a relaxing and comfortable silence, for the father at least. The son, on the other hand, wasn't so 'relaxed', the words he was reading weren't registering in his mind, and his thoughts were preoccupied with ravaging waves of 'what-ifs'. He had been laying wide awake at night wondering how he could voice out what he needed to say. He couldn't live in the shadows for much longer, and if he did, it wouldn't benefit him.

Having to express his discomfort with marriage wouldn't be as simple as one would think. If Louis told his father about how he didn't want to marry Azuki, it would require a solid explanation and convincing points to be made because Oguma wasn't an easy man to convince. It worried Louis immensely, he had to think of a plan - of what to say, and he felt pressured, seeing how he'd have to inevitably come clean and admit to being in a relationship - with a carnivore boy no less.

It all came crashing down on him, seeing how it meant that for his relationship's sake and Azuki's, he'd have to come out to his father when he knew that he wasn't ready. He didn't know what his father would say - he was an expressionless and difficult-to-read sort of man, the kind whose reactions could vary in so many ways. Oguma could either accept his preference for guys or go as far as disowning him for all he could tell.

His mind was clouded, all the possible outcomes overwhelming him to the point where he almost didn't hear his father call his name. Louis looked up, lost - his trance having been interrupted. "Are you alright, son? You seem troubled." Oguma questioned, an eyebrow raised in perplexity.

Louis gulped, momentarily averting his father's gaze before speaking, "Yeah, I'm... I'm okay." The red deer forced a smile as he looked into his father's eyes, not confident enough to speak further. Though, as Oguma gave him a knowing look - one which hinted at his skepticism, Louis' fake smile faded away almost instantly.

Oguma didn't have to speak for Louis to know that he didn't believe a single word that came out of his mouth, and that made Louis feel defeated. He sighed, placing his book down before purging his anxiety and sitting up straight. "Actually, we... we need to talk. About something pretty important..."

"What is it?"

Oguma spoke with an undisturbed demeanor, but his calmness only made Louis more agitated. Like the calm before the storm, the air in their living room was tense, and it was an asphyxiating battle to mutter even a few words. His hands quivering slightly, Louis spoke, "About this whole marriage..."

"What about it?"

Louis gulped once again, feeling vulnerable and small under his father's gaze as he mustered up the courage to speak his mind. "I-- I don't think it's a good idea." He hesitated, trying to find the remaining confidence he had inside of him.

"I figured you might've been against it, but it seems you are not telling me everything, Louis," Oguma observed, awaiting his son's elaboration.

"I just can't marry her," Louis admitted, the words falling from his lips in a hurry as he watched his father's reaction. Oguma remained calm and composed, his expression not faltering once as he looked at his son, eyebrows raised.

"Is this really about you not being able to or you just not wanting to?"

Louis' eyes widened slightly, being left speechless and put on the spot. Both of them knew the answer, and Louis' silence said it all. Oguma sighed, placing his book on the coffee table before he patted the seat next to him, gesturing for Louis to sit next to him. The latter stood up and sat there, awaiting his father's next words, "Now, tell me what's going on."

He leaned back on the sofa, glancing at his father before grunting in frustration. "I can't and don't want to marry Azuki... because I'm... dating someone already." Louis hesitated, feeling embarrassed and nervous because of his father's silence - the latter processing what his son had just told him.

"Is she aware of all this?"

Louis only stared at his father, his lips shut tight in a thin line - awkward. This is it. He thought as he brought his slightly trembling hands up to scratch his neck. The young red deer's face displayed the pure discomfort he felt, the slight purse of his lips in thought and the averting eyes - all of these minute details, Oguma saw through them, he could discern through his son's body language that there was more to that conversation than he thought.

Louis sighed faintly after a moment of unresponsiveness before finally speaking.

"No... and - It's not a girl..."

"A boy?"

"Yes..." Louis wouldn't look his father in his eyes, too scared of what would come next - of what would happen to him.

A moment of silence followed, and the red deer knew deep down that this was it. The thoughts were rushing in his mind of how his life would completely change from then on but he didn't get the chance to worry further as he heard his father's voice - as pacific and neutral as Oguma could be.

"Okay."

"What?"

"I said okay."

Louis' eyes widened.

"You're fine with me... liking boys?"

"Louis, I care very little for a lot of things, and trust me, whoever you fall in love with is also one of them - no matter the gender. So there's no need for you to be nervous." Oguma chuckled.

"I'm not nervous!" He lied, tears welling up in his eyes. He blinked them away, his hands shaking - he wasn't sure what he was feeling, was it joy? Fear? Anxiety? He couldn't tell, but the one thing he knew was that he was relieved.

"S-so you're fine with me not marrying Azuki?"

Oguma only nodded his head in response, and Louis exhaled deeply, a heavy weight lifting off of his shoulders - he could finally look his father in his eyes.

"Tell me about this boyfriend of yours."

"Huh? Why?"

"What do you mean why? I assume I will meet him soon enough, and if you plan to marry him, the least you could do is tell me about him. "

Louis blushed furiously. "W-well..."

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Louis sat on his bed, feeling lighter than before. Even if his father tends to be emotionally unavailable, it made him so much more content to know that he was understanding and didn't care about these things.

He felt a bit stupid for worrying so much about it for so long. The red deer's daydreaming was interrupted as he felt his phone buzz on his mattress. He picked it up, seeing that it was a call from an unknown number. Though it felt suspicious, he picked up anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hey, is this Louis?"

"Legoshi?"

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A/n I'm not dead lmao