she hated herself for the
brief hesitation in her words
when she would say
my friend,
she wasn't sure if anyone ever
noticed, or if it was
just her head, but it made
her feel small nonetheless.
she wasn't able to watch
films or tv series
without thinking about him.
reading even proved to be
difficult, as her mind would blank
and she would think of him.
rereading the page, over and over.
his name meant nothing
before they had met.
but now, she sees
it everywhere.
as if all of a sudden everyone
shares the name.
she wanted him to be more
to her, as she often
referred to him as "hers"
she knew that wasn't the case.
her beautiful boy,
that wasnt at all hers.
he belonged to no one but
himself. in her mind
and in her heart, he
was hers and she
was his.
until one day she'd wake
up from her fever dream,
and cling on nothing
but the mere memories
of what they had.
something to be forgotten to
him, was etched into the
depths of her mind &'
heart.
the boy that lived
vacantly in her fictitious
mind. the one where
they were together.
