Everything But Love

Chapter 7- Lavender

The following morning began like any other day. I woke up, stared at the ceiling, and finally convinced myself to get out of bed. I made myself a cup of coffee and took a seat at my dining table. I stared at an empty chair seated across from me. Only a handful of people had used that chair, at least since it came into my possession. I stared at it and imagined it was occupied by an invisible figure, occupied by anyone, and that I wasn't entirely and utterly alone. This figure would follow me around, like Le Horla, keeping me company in a sort of silent way. He wouldn't talk, eat, sleep, or even breathe. But at least I wouldn't be alone, not like I was right now.

I shifted my attention to the small piece of napkin that Janna had left me, still resting on the table. Visit me sometime. The note echoed in my head like a broken record. Should I go? I really wanted to, but something was holding me back. Maybe it was my moral compass or perhaps my sense of dignity? Or maybe even my duty to be a good friend. I need a cigarette.

I threw on an un-ironed shirt and tucked it into my pants. dressed up, brushed my teeth, and put on my shoes automatically. The smoke shop was a couple blocks away so I decided to take the car.

I hastily left my apartment, almost tripping on my doormat. I fumbled with my car keys as I approached my old Camry that was parked in the back lot. Leaves and grime covered the windshield of my neglected old car. I pushed the leaves off with my bare hands and sat in my car for the first time in months. The musty smell of years of accumulated dust filled my nostrils as I started my car and began to drive towards the smoke shop.

After a few minutes, I arrived at my destination. As I exited the vehicle, I noticed a homeless man asleep next to the entrance of the shop. Poor guy. I navigated around him, careful not to wake him up.

I entered the store and approached the clerk.

"One pack of Red Camels, please."

The man studied me up and down. "You got an ID, kid?"

I reached into my pockets and pulled out my wallet, revealing my ID to the man.

"Barely made the cut, huh?" He chuckled. "What's a kid your age doing smoking anyway?"

"Bad habit, I guess." I handed him seven dollars. The man smirked as he shuffled through the cash.

"Sorry, kid. You're one dollar short." Fucking tax.

Annoyed, I handed the man an extra dollar. He gruffly handed me a fresh pack off the shelves.

"Have a nice day."

I made my way outside the shop when I noticed that the homeless man was now standing by the entrance.

"Hey man," he called out in a raspy voice. "Help a brother out." He extended his palms out, looking me dead in the eye. His face was dirty and tanned from sitting in the sun. He was wearing an old beanie and a tattered green jacket. Poor guy.

I reached into my pockets and pulled out a five dollar bill.

"Thank you so much," he bowed his head, taking the bill with much appreciation.

"You want a cigarette?" I shook the fresh pack in one hand.

The man's eyes lit up. "Yeah, I could really use one."

I handed him a Camel and held the lighter to his lips. He took a delighted puff and smiled a toothy smile.

"My name's John, by the way," he started happily.

"I'm Dante." I said lamely, lighting up a Camel myself.

"You're a good man, Dante," he inhaled deeply. "A good, kind man."