Cookie run NSFW headcannons

shit cannons

Ok read please, I'm working on my animations to officially open up my second YouTube channel, it's mainly just cookie run animations

So that's why I've been gone so long :p

But hope you enjoy these crackhead cannons.

Madeline and Expresso
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"REEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" screams the tiny coffee bean, breaking the door down. "E-espresso! Your back quite early..." Madeleine said.

"BITCH, I SAW YOU HANGING OUT WITH ECLAIR YESTERDAY!"

"W-WAIT ESPRESSO IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!!!"

"I won't hesitate, betch" 🔫🙃

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Clover and Parfait
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"Pew pew PARFAIT!!! heehee~"

"Wow she's so cute," clover says.

'I should go talk to her,'

"Hey Parfait co-"

"Pew pew bitch bitch." 🔫

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Rye and Chilli pepper
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"Hey chili

"?"

"I'm lesbian."

...

...

...

"I thought you were American?"

"I-...What?!"
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Sherbet shark and tiger lily
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"Rwar!"

"OooOooO!"

"Hiss!"

"0oO0Ooo0o-"

"Rawr!"

"°o0O.0oO°!"

..."umm, what the hell are they talking about..." Says Lilac cookie

"I have no idea..." Says knight cookie...

Sorbet

Any plans on taking over the kingdom, once n' for all!

Tiger Lily

Bash the naked one with a rock to the head, then take the throne!

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Werewolf and Vampire
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(Lines that I made them say)

"My scar aches"

"What now?"

"Stay back!"

"Who are you? Eh, no matter~"

"Achoo!"

"H-hey, it's you..."

"Stay back!"

"What now?"

...(werewolf has covid and doesn't want to get vampire infected...meanwhile, vampire has amnesia and doesn't care)

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Herb x sparkling and sea fairy cookie
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Herb Pov

"Hey, it's me your scumbag mom!"

"Today I'm going to get you laid!"

"Now now herb, I know that you've never dated anyone like the lonely little fuck you are!"

"But that's ok, your scumbag mom is gonna teach ya!"

Walks into bar

"Your Mother used to get a lot of hot guys in here, Literally...the guy was on fire!"

"Hey, you see the guy with the yellowish hair?"

"Ask him to get us some drinks!"

"You're gonna need it when you start regretting everything in the morning!"

Walks up to sparkling

"Hey, you here alone~ you look very cute tonight~"

Blushes and shake hands furiously

"Hey! What the hell are you doing talking to my son!"

"I was just talk-"

"REEEE!!!!"

"Hey son take this gun!

Shakes hands angerly

"Your Mother wants to have a nerf war with the guys in the bar!"

"You see the cash in the jar where the man with red hair is standing"

Nods

"Your Mother is gonna shoot him and you grab the money!"

Shakes head nervously

"Ok, on the count of three, one, two"

Fires shots

"GO GO GO!"

GRABS TIP JAR AND RUNS

OPENS THE BACK DOOR.

"H-hey"

Shakes hand scaredly

"Hey hey, listen, I'm not mad"

"But now that we're here alone~"

SHOTS

"HEY KIDDO THERE YOU ARE!"

"looks like the pedo wanted to put his hands on you, luckily I dealt with him"

Flails hands sadly

"Be not afraid small one, he's just spitting strawberry jam! Which would make sense since we are cookies..."

"Come, this way"

Mint choco crawls underneath table

"P-please I have a wife-"

Sea fairy takes his violin and smashes it across his head

"QUICK RUN, THE AUTHORITIES ARE COMING!"

Almond takes out a megaphone

"Come out with your hands up, we have you surrounded"

"Run out the back door, mama's gonna flood this bitch!"

Runs

Time skip

"Hey here eat your ice cream!"

"Sorry, mommy couldn't get you a girlfriend tonight!"

"But look at all this money we've got!"

"We'll be eating good!!!"

"Say 'Hey~' to Las Vegas!!!!"

Lol, sorry

Not sorry, Reese's