Open Confessions

To that lover

Hey,

I know I know, you won't ever read this 'cause...I have every doubt you will ever install Wattpad. Let alone find me in here. Well, I am writing this because I wanna. Now, it's not like I wanna confess something or anything like that. Before things had taken a bad turn, I actually had hopes from you. Shouldn't have most probably. But here we are. 

You ask me every day why I don't give you a second chance. It's...difficult to explain but here am I. Will try to do it.

When you did those things, it wasn't you that I was blaming. I was blaming myself more because you know, I am the harshest on myself. To me, it was my inability to make you drift away from your ex. To make you accept the pain and help you move on. My slightest vulnerability shook you to derive a conclusion: You don't deserve me. No. You very well deserved me. But the issue lies when I will automatically start criticising myself. I felt happy with you. I did. I am telling you this because, after a heartbreak that still manages to sting me somehow, you were my ray of sunshine. I had feelings for you. I did and I sit by myself often to think and rationalise why everything happened. Couldn't we have just sat down and tried to reason our insecurities? Maybe we could, maybe we couldn't. At least we would have tried. 

But young hearts. Too busy to prove our points rather than solve the issue. It's okay as long as I am your friend. Yeah, I get annoyed at you often but it doesn't necessarily mean I hate you. I don't. I just don't want you as my partner. I want you as my advisor and friend. 

On top of that, I never wanted a relationship in the first place. I am kinda an anti-romantic, to be completely honest.

Still. You are a stubborn a$s. Sagittarius after all. SMH. 

-Sincerely,

Sam.

A/N; No offence to Sag people. You guys are very determined in achieving whatever you want to pursue. Whether it's a job or your lover.