Stupid Sickness

Ocean Encounters (Jesper)

Inej was back. 

Kaz had come back to himself a bit. Either from the piano, or Inej's return, or from some other unknown source. 

Jesper didn't care. 

His friends were back together and he was living his best life.

But Jesper missed his da.

Just when they'd made things right, just when they could finally look each other in the eye with the truth out in the open, Colm Fahey had gone back to his farm in Novyi Zem. He'd asked Jesper to come with him, but Jesper knew if he came home, he may never return to Ketterdam. 

Jesper knew he couldn't leave Wylan alone like that. He couldn't leave Wylan. Not right after his own father's imprisonment and trial. Wylan could survive on his own, but he needed someone beside him to wake him from the nightmares that came with the return to his childhood home.

He didn't say anything to Wylan about missing his father.  He didn't want to rub it in. Wylan was going through some things and the last thing Jesper wanted was to make it worse.

But Wylan was smart, he knew something was off, even if he didn't know what.

Jesper wanted to asked Inej if she could take him to his father's farm on her boat, but he didn't want to admit how much he wanted that, as if saying it out loud would make it all much worse. 

He knew Inej would understand, she had recently reunited with her parents to. Jesper remembered her initial excitement, that turned to something else. Inej hadn't wanted to talk about it, and when Jesper had asked, she'd stayed silent after a small glance at Kaz.

Jesper hated the way they shut him out sometimes, only confiding in one another, but he understood. They understood. They understood each other in a way Jesper never could. Kaz and Inej had both been through unimaginable horrors that Jesper couldn't empathize with. 

It still hurt.

When they finally decided to all go to Novyi Zem together--Wylan included--it wasn't even Jesper who'd brought up the idea, but Kaz. 

Kaz wanted to visit Lij, though why, Jesper didn't know. He suggested they could stop by and visit the Fahey farm as well, which had Jesper on board immediately. Inej didn't mind, she could see to her business out in the ocean on the way. Wylan was eager to get out of his new house, which still felt like his father's to him.

The oddest part about Kaz's sudden urge to visit Novyi Zem was the timing. He wanted to be in Lij on a specific day. Jesper couldn't remember which day and he hadn't cared. They were going to Novyi Zem and he was going to see his father again.

The week went by painfully slow, but by the end the four of them were on Inej's ship sailing away.

Jesper remembered the last time he'd sailed away from Ketterdam, to break into the Ice Court. 

Not such a pleasant memory. 

He winced at the memory of Inej's knife wound that had been partially his fault. Or mostly his fault. Entirely, even. Judging by the look on Kaz's face, he was remembering too.