Stupid Sickness

Change (Inej)

Inej didn't know what she had expected. It was clear from the look on Kaz's face he hadn't either.

The Rietveld farm lay just outside of Lij and was one of the coziest looking places Inej had seen. jurda fields stretched on, the farmhouse tucked between them. Behind it lay a little graveyard with about a dozen markers.

It felt like old times. Inej left wondering why Kaz Brekker did the things he did, knowing if she gave him space and time he might choose to tell her.

As they stepped through the front gate, Kaz sucked in a breath. Inej spared him a glance before gazing back up at the house.

"It looks exactly the same." Kaz muttered. "I don't know what I expected but I thought it might..." He trailed off. "I wasn't sure it would even still be here. It looks exactly the same" Kaz sounded choked. Inej looked back at him. He was staring at the open fields with something like longing in his eyes. Like homesickness. Inej knew that feeling well.

Kaz was clutching his crow's head cane as if he would fall over without it. He was wearing the gloves she had given back to him just before they arrived. He needed them more right now.

The four of them travelled up the lane, to the front door. Kaz's gloved hands trailed over the door frame and down to the handle.

"Are we allowed to be here?" Inej asked apprehensively, looking around for any sign of inhabitants.

"Yes. I bought the farm back years ago." Kaz's voice was rough, even more gravelly than usual.

He sounds like he might cry. 

Kaz stepped away from the house, leading her around to the back.

The graveyard lay in shadow of weeping willow trees that surrounded the back of the house.

Kaz walked between the graves, going right to the one at the far right corner as if he knew exactly where he was going. He probably did, most likely visited this place often in his mind. Inej followed him, but not before plucking three stray wildflowers from the overgrown bed. 

Kaz was kneeling on the ground, reading the markings.

Clara Rietveld and Johannus Rietveld

Then the dates of birth and death that Inej skimmed over, only noting that they were born roughly around the same time as her parents.

Kaz let out a choked laugh as she approached.

Is he crying?

"Want to meet my parents?" He asked her, gesturing to the tombstone. Inej stared at him, usnure of what to say. Kaz laughed again at the look on her face. "Shocking, I know. The bastard of the Barrel is actually a farm boy." Kaz took the flowers from Inej and lay them on the ground in front of the gravestone. He was careful not to touch her hand, and she pulled away before he accidentally brushed her.

Kaz took a small pencil from his coat and scratched something on the stone, below the names of his parents. A name, birth year and death year.

Jordan Rietveld

Then, after a small hesitation he added another name with an earlier birth year and the same death year.