Another brother from another mother

Chapter 11.

Mike's eyes fluttered open, his blurred vision clearing to reveal his boss smirking down at him.

"I was wondering when you would wake up," Harvey said, extending a hand to help Mike off the couch.

Mike took the hand, noticing how gentle Harvey's touch was. "How long have I been asleep?"

"All afternoon."

This caused Mike to notice the dark sky as he looked out Harvey's windows. "Wow. Sorry."

Harvey shook his head, their hands still joined between them. "Don't be sorry. You needed the rest, I'm glad you were able to get some peaceful sleep after all the tossing and turning you do on my couch."

"How do you know I toss and turn?"

"Because I check on you."

Mike stared at him with wide eyes. "You do?"

Harvey nodded. "Three or four times a night."

"But... you need to sleep too..."

"I get a good night's sleep pretty much every night, Mike. Waking up every few hours to make sure you're alright is nothing to be concerned about."

"Thanks." Mike gave a little bewildered smile.

Harvey mirrored the expression, adding a hint of triumph as he said, "You're welcome. Now," he finally let go of Mike's hand, catching him blush as he glanced down, "let's go home."

X

"No," Harvey said into the phone in his bedroom, "I haven't told him."

"Don't tell me you've gotten shy," Donna's voice responded.

"It's not shyness, Donna. I'm just... being careful. He's had so much happen to him lately, I don't want to give him more than he can handle."

"Are you sure you're not just afraid of being rejected?"

Harvey took his time with his answer. "I've considered the possibility."

"You've got it bad."

"Yeah." he admitted softly.

"How's he doing?" Donna changed the subject slightly.

Harvey was grateful for this. "He's... I want to say better, but it's only by a little. He acts like he's better, but inside... I can tell he's not."

"Sometimes we have to act like we're okay before we can actually be okay, Harvey. Just keep showing him you care. He'll come around."

"I guess. I should go check on him."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. Bye." Harvey hung up the phone and proceeded to exit his bedroom. He'd gone to bed about an hour earlier, but found he couldn't sleep. He tried to calm his mind, but ultimately ended up calling Donna. When he made it out to his living room, he was barely surprised to fine Mike sitting on the sofa, awake and staring intently at the floor. He took a seat next to him, startling him out of his trance.

He looked at him in surprise. "You really do check on me."

"You thought I was lying?"

"No, I just... thought you were joking."

Harvey wanted more than anything to get closer to Mike right now. He just wanted to hug him close and squeeze the bad feelings out of him. But he settled for putting an arm around his shoulders and rubbing his arm in a way that could pass as friendly, although just barely. "Can't sleep?"

Mike shook his head. "I haven't tried."

"You're not tired?"

"No, I am. I feel like I could sleep for a hundred years. But I can't seem to get in the mood."

"Is there something on your mind?"

Mike finally looked over at him. "There's a lot on my mind."

"You can talk to me about it, you know. You don't have to, but..."

"But that's just the thing, Harvey. Of all the things I've been thinking about, between my grandmother and work and everything... I just keep thinking about you."

This piqued Harvey's curiosity. "You do?"

"Well... yeah. You've been so helpful and I just feel so ungrateful. And I wonder what's wrong with me. I don't want to be like this. I don't want to feel guilty and sad and..."

At this point Harvey couldn't take it any more. Seeing Mike in so much pain was just horrible for him. So he leaned closer to Mike and wrapped his other arm around him, a feeling of relief washing over him when Mike hugged him back. He could feel him breathing, Mike's head nestled against his chest. He moved one hand to Mike's head, threading his fingers through his hair. He didn't care how intimate their position appeared, all he wanted to do was comfort Mike, and as long as he wasn't being pushed away, he would do whatever it took. "You have to feel these things. Even though you're not guilty of anything, everyone goes through this when they're grieving. You just need to feel it and not hold it back. If you try to cover it up and hide it away it's only going to get worse."

"But I don't like these feelings. I don't want to burden anyone with my issues."

"Can't you see by now that nothing about you is a burden to me?"

Mike took a couple shallow breaths, the warm air seeping through Harvey's shirt as it ghosted across his chest. "Can I tell you something?"

"You don't have to ask me that every time you want to say something. You can just say it, I always want to know what you're thinking."

"Really?"

"Really," Harvey answered cautiously. He didn't want to make Mike uncomfortable, but it was becoming harder and harder to hold back the truth about just how deeply he cared for him.

"I... I'm kind of... excited to go back to work with you tomorrow. I mean... I'm still sad... and I still don't feel like I belong there, or anywhere for that matter... but maybe this will help me. Being around you... makes me feel just a little bit less alone."

"I'm glad to hear I'm helping," Harvey said, trying to keep his voice even. But the truth was that this made him so happy he could almost feel himself trembling. "Are you feeling tired yet?"

"A little," Mike admitted, the vibrations of his voice making Harvey shiver.

Harvey laid back on the sofa, keeping Mike against him as they laid together. "Do you want to talk some more?"

"No. I just want to sleep."

"Okay. Then go to sleep."

"Don't you need to go back to your bed?" Mike asked sleepily.

"No," Harvey said, playing with Mike's hair some more. "I'm fine right here."