After We Ended

01.

"Elise! Natulala ka diyan bigla?" kinalabit ako ni Diane kaya naiwas ko ang tingin ko at napabaling sa kaibigan.

"What the fuck ka 'te, totoo palang nandito si ano!" Shiela exclaimed, still shocked.

"You mean to say, siya si 'ano'?" tanong ko sa kanila at sabay sabay silang nagtanguan.

Naibalik ko ang tingin ko sa harap at nagkatinginan kami ni Mindy na mukhang gulat din.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to be one of your abays, na-late pa ako kanina sa simbahan." Jace laughed a bit.

"Anyway, congrats, you two! I'm happy for the both of you. I'm glad na kayo ang nagkatuluyan. Best wishes, love birds!" he smiled and gave them a hug.

Nagkatinginan kami bigla ni Zian at kaagad niya akong nginisian, ako naman ay napakurap nalang at gulat pa'rin.

Hanggang sa magtayuan ang mga tao para sumayaw ay nakatulala ako sa upuan ko, kung hindi pa ako kakalabitin ng mga kaibigan ko ay hindi pa ako mababalik sa hwisyo.

"Ito naman, nakita lang ulit si first love, nabighani na naman." pang-aasar ni Tessa na kaagad kong inirapan.

"Nagulat lang ako na nandito siya." I defended myself.

They all left to dance with the newly weds after a while at ako ay naiwan sa upuan, nagpapapak ng lechon. Tahimik akong kamakain nang may maghila ng upuan na nasa tabi ko at umupo.

Akala ko ay sila Shiela pero nang lingunin ko ay halos mabulunan ako sa pagkain nang makita si Jace na nakangiti sa'kin.

"Careful." he chuckled lightly and handed me a glass of water. Kaagad ko 'yong kinuha at ininuman.

"How are you, Eli? Long time no talk." he started initiating a conversation at halos kapusan na ako ng hininga.

I felt awkward. I haven't seen him for like, what? 7 years? And now he acts so casual habang ako ay naiilang.

"Okay naman ako. Ano, uhm, Licensed Teacher na." I said with a smile.

I'm really proud of what I've become. I've always wanted to be a teacher and teach young minds.

"Wow. I'm happy for you. It's your dream, right? To teach? You talked a lot about it before." his eyes glistened. Napangiti ako at tumango.

"Ikaw, kamusta? Tagal na din nating hindi nagkita."

"7 years, and uhm, I'm doing great. Same old, model pa'rin. And basketball player minsan. Wala namang nagbago." aniya.

Napatango naman ako at sumubo na naman sa kinakain at linunok muna bago nagsalita ulit.

"Gusto mo ba? Kain tayo." I even offered him my food but he shook his head and smiled, sinabing kakatapos lang niya kumain.

"Nakikita ko nga mukha mo sa mga magazines minsan eh, kalat din mga billboards mo." I laughed.

"Yeah, It's my job now. To model products." he smiled.

"I thought you wanted to be a Doctor? Bakit hindi mo tinuloy?" I asked.

"I changed my mind. I realized that it wasn't what I really wanted. For some reason, I just really love modeling. So I do it full time now." he shrugged.

"Well, I'm happy that you get to do what you love. 'Yan naman lagi kong sinasabi sa'yo noon, 'di ba? Gawin mo kung ano magpapasaya sa'yo." I smiled.

"Hmm." he nodded and smiled back.

We talked for quite some time before he had to excuse himself dahil may kakausapin daw siya kaya naiwan akong mag isa dito sa lamesa kasama ang mga pagkain.

Napanguso ako habang ngumunguya. It was so casual talking to him. Para lang kaming magkaibigan na matagal hindi nagkita kung mag usap. I thought it would be awkward, considering the fact that we're exes and our break up, may not be messy but it wasn't the cleanest either.

If I remember it correctly, we both became busy and didn't have time for each other anymore so we decided that it's best if we take a break.

We were fine until we both realized that, well, the love just wasn't there anymore. Our relationship felt more like an obligation for the both of us at parang dumagdag lang sa mga iniisip namin. It was no longer a priority so we both decided to let it go.

But I'll admit, being with him made me happy. We were together for four years and that made such a big impact to me. It was hard to let go at first, I was still attactched to him afterall. I tried so hard to fight for it. I tried proving myself that maybe, p'wede pa. Na baka mayro'n pang natitira. Pero wala na talaga eh. Hindi na namin mahal ang isa't isa. So we ended it.

It was a mutual decision, kaya siguro mukhang okay na siya ngayon. I mean, bakit naman hindi? That was already seven years ago. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ako naiilang pa eh.

I bet he's happy now. And I am too. Siguro ay parehas kaming nakulong sa relasyon na 'yon noon kaya hindi kami naging masaya.

But we're both free now. We've been free for years already. Kaya hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nago-overthink ngayon habang kumakain ng lechon.

Hapon na nang matapos ang kasiyahan sa reception at nakabihis na kami para sa after party na gaganapin sa bagong bahay nila Zian at Mindy. Naka-casual nalang kami na suot dahil magiinuman lang naman kaming magkakaibigan at hindi na bonggang party pa.

"Cheers to a new beggining!" Mindy happily cheered and we all raised a toast.

"We're so happy for you, bitch!" Diane laughed.

Bumukas bigla ang pinto ng kwarto na kinaroroonan namin at pumasok si Zian, sa likod ay ang kaibigan at best man niya kanina na si Joseph at sumunod naman si Jace na palinga-linga.

Nagtama ang tingin namin at kaagad siyang ngumiti kaya ngumiti nalang din ako pabalik.

We partied. May videooke na rinentahan ang mag asawa kaya puro kami kantahan. Nang mapagod naman ako ay umupo nalang muna ako sa couch sa gilid at uminom.

Naramdaman kong may tumabi sa'kin at paglingon ko ay nakita ko si Jace.

"I'll sit beside you, if you don't mind." he smiled. Tumango naman ako at ngumiti para sabihing ayos lang.

We were both silent for some time when he suddenly spoke.

"You know, I wasn't really completely happy these past few years." he mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"I still feel like I'm incomplete. I'm probably talking nonsense but, well, that's how I feel. Some people may think that I have everything and even if I do, I still don't feel contented. It just feels empty." he smiled faintly.

Nangunot ang noo ko habang tinitignan siya. He chuckled and shook his head.

"Don't mind me, lasing na siguro ako." aniya at inalog ang baso niya. Napatango nalang ako at sumandal sa sofa dahil nararamdaman kong nahihilo na din ako.