When the Rain Never Stops

Chapter 9

Winnie

The night I got the call from Lee that Sarah had tried to kill herself, I had been sitting out in the rain. I was on my roof letting the rain dump on me when my phone rang. My stomach dropped. Lee doesn't call me. If her and Sarah are planning on coming over, it's Sarah who calls. She was practically panting, she sounded like she had just run a marathon. "Lee, I can't understand you, what happened," I remember saying.

"Oh Winnie, it's Sarah," She said through her tears. It was then that I realized the loud noise in the background was actually the sirens of an ambulance. Lee didn't have to say much more. I had already crawled back through my window and grabbed my car keys. I grabbed shoes that didn't match and ran out the door. I didn't even bother putting the shoes on before driving away, instead I put them on at a red light. I shouted at every red light, and every car that wouldn't let me go. The lights seemed to take forever to turn green. Everything around me was in slow motion and my mind was going at two hundred miles per hour.

When I got to the hospital Lee was with Sarah's mom. They were huddled together both crying. I ran over to them and saw Sarah surrounded by paramedics, nurses, doctors, and other people in scrubs. I watched as they pumped her stomach and wiped the sweat from their foreheads knowing they had saved her. Once they had left, we all ran into the room. I saw Lee unfold papers she had taken out of her pocket. At first I didn't realize what they were but when I saw tears start to hit the paper, I realized it was Sarah's note. She passed the paper around and soon enough the papers were decorated with tear drops from everyone in the room.

Watching Sarah's father break down next to her as he read the section dedicated to him was heartbreaking. I know this is going to sound terrible, but he had the most written about him, and it kind of felt like it was his fault. But in the end, Sarah had struggled so much regardless that her father being distant and not loving her was probably nothing more than the final straw.

Sarah's attempt was a wake up call. We all thought that she was better or at least getting there. Clearly that was not the case. No matter how okay someone looks, you don't know what is going on through their head. And that is horrifying. Even if you know that someone is struggling, you don't know just how bad it is until they reach their breaking point. And now, now it's like you're walking on eggshells because you don't want to upset Sarah. I know that if she knew that I felt this way she'd tell me it's not true and that I shouldn't feel that way but I couldn't help.