Partnered with 10k
Warnings:⚠️Depression, Suicidal thoughts and behaviours,flashbacks.⚠️
Type:Angst
What if I just disappeared?
YOUR POV:
Before the out break I was a loner, I would happily pick reading over going out unlike most people my age who liked to go out drinking and partying. I never really saw the point. I got picked on by people at the college I attended because I was different from others. Quite,shy and always had some type of book in my hand.
Anyway now I was the shy,quick thinker, people pleaser. I joined this group of survivors who were on a mission to get Murphy to a lab in California but that went up in smoke quiet literally with a lot of radiation too.
They were all lovely apart from Murphy who wasnt always nice and always complaining but over all left me alone but this boy 10k he was around the same age as me but he was always rude and pushing me away and over all being rude and made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with me.i stayed away from him as much as possible.
I was on anti-depressants before the world went to sh*t, on runs I take the time to try and find some at every stop of course I cant always find any but I try to keep up with my meds.
I ran out of my meds 2 days ago and it was starting to affect my attitude and my motivation. I didnt want to do anything and thoughts kept creeping into my head about what would happen if I disappear would the group notice, would they be happy I was gone, would 10k be finally happy i was gone. Would they give me mercy if i got bite. The thoughts on this was endless.
I had scars littered over my body from past self harm and other life events. I never wore short things out of fear of people seeing and judging.
A car horn suddenly went off and pulled me out of my thoughts. "Hurry up Y/n" 10k yelled
I could tell he was in a bad mood already and I didn't want to make it worse so I jumped into the bed of the truck. And 10k signalled to go and we were off to go find Murphy and get him to some lab in the ocean.
"Y/n? Y/n? Y/N?!" 10k was yelling again turns out i had zoned out again and we were at this abandoned house trying to gather up supplies and stay there the night.
"Sorry I was zoned out-" 10k shot back with "well next time I'll leave you out here" i rolled my eye and picked up my rucksack/backpack and walked into the house helping to search for supplies, all I found was a tin of dog food a handful of band aids / plasters and a ra*or bl*d.
I put them into the group pile apart from the Ra*or, I stuffed it into a pocket. After Warren shared out the supplies and given any meds to doc to put into his bag.
Warren assigned us to where we would be sleeping. Doc on the sofa/couch. Mac and Addy in a bedroom. Me and 10k in a bedroom and Warren took the chair.
When me and 10k got to the room it was a double bed with fairley clean sheets. 10k stood their silently for a moment and then said "I'll take the left you can have the right but dont touch me breath near me or be annoying" I just nodded my head.
After everyone was asleep, I layed their spiraling again. I was staring at the ceiling when I had the idea of what if I just started to cope a different way again...
I snuck out of the bedroom into the bathroom and took the ra*or bl*d out and rolled up my sleeve then silently staring at the bl*d, sobbing quietly
A knock at the bathroom door panicked me "Just a minute" I was rummaging around making a lot of noise hiding the bl*d into my pocket then the door opened and their stood 10k...
Hope this chapter was ok and if anyone needs to talk I am here too.
Their are other ways to get by and their are people out their that love and care for you.
