adolescents - mo (monroe) harris

11

That night, after doing homework with Mo and enjoying a meal cooked by Holly, Anna found herself unable to sleep. She'd been restlessly tossing and turning under the blankets for an hour before she sat up exhaustedly and sighed. She couldn't get the last few days off her mind. If dealing with the thought of returning to school after the embarrassing night out wasn't enough, now she had Mo on her mind. At dinner Mo was talking about the girl from the party, Sophie. He seemed interested in her and Zeke offered some advice for getting her attention. Anna told Zeke his advice was shit and told Mo that if he used it he'd surely drive the poor girl away, but she felt like the message wasn't received. But that wasn't what kept her awake, and she knew it.

Having had few real connections to people in the past, Anna was in unfamiliar territory with her feelings. She didn't know when to draw the line between enjoying someone's company and having feelings for them. Often, she ended up just convincing herself she didn't have feelings and moving on. That was safer and easier than mending a broken heart. She knew herself, and if even for a moment she told herself she might have a little crush, she'd dive deep and not return.

This left her in a predicament with Mo. Is he worth a heartbreak? She'd started to ask herself this question a few times before the inner monologue would become jumbled and make her brain feel like television static. Quick flashes of his sweet brown eyes kept pulling her back, and the anxiety pushed her out again. The emotional labor of treading water in this never ending current was wearing her out and keeping her awake. Rather than staying in bed and going insane being stuck in her own mind, Anna opted for a distraction.

Anna climbed out of her bed and made her way to the living room to see what Zeke was up to. She found him on the couch, all the lights out but the lamp next to him, and his phone in hand. The glow of the screen lit up his tense face.

"Hey." Anna said quietly, standing in the doorway watching her cousin. Zeke looked up quickly and then back down at his phone, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Something wrong?"

"Ah... no. I mean, not really." Zeke said, tossing his phone onto the couch next to him. Anna knew that wasn't true, but she didn't think she had to pry to get him to talk. She just waited silently until he said something again. "I've been hooking up with Kate."

"Oh?" Anna raised an eyebrow. "Like, behind Holly's back? Didn't you just become official?"

Zeke nodded and Anna dropped her head. She sighed and moved to sit down in the chair. Zeke shifted uncomfortably and avoided looking at her.

"Did you cut things off?" Anna spoke finally after considering how to approach what he told her. An obvious pang of hurt hit Zeke and he didn't answer. Anna knew it meant that Kate broke his heart again. Anna wasn't one to have deep conversations with Zeke, but she was beginning to feel she may be one of very few voices of reason in his life. She also saw that he willingly gave that information up to her, and it had to be for a reason. "I know you never got over her. But you have better things going for you and so does she. This is what's best for both of you."

"Yeah." Zeke said, leaning forward. Anna fidgeted with her fingers, waiting for something to happen. "You think I should tell Mo?"

"I don't know. I guess you would know better than me. He's your friend. Follow your gut." Anna said, shrugging. She wanted to tell him he should, because that's what she believed was right, but she feared that could drive Mo away from Zeke, and possibly from her. Zeke nodded slowly and got up, taking his phone and going silently to his room. Anna sat for a moment and then did the same.

Anna felt for Zeke. She knew that he had strong feelings for Kate, and it made sense to her now why she has been a topic of discussion lately. She felt bad for Holly, too, who would someday be blindsided learning that Zeke has been unfaithful. As Anna got into bed again she considered the possibility of telling Holly the truth. Anna believed in girl code, but she didn't want to sabotage the one positive thing her cousin had. She came to the conclusion that if it happened again she would tell Holly.

Anna turned onto her side to look at the christmas lights blinking around her window. She pulled the blankets tighter around her as the cool air gave her goosebumps. She took a deep breath as she felt the weight of her heart resting on her lungs. Her emotions often had a way of exhibiting themselves in a physical way. She reminded herself how much worse things have been for her. She knew she was lucky to be where she was and to have what she had now. Just a few weeks before she'd have given anything to just be worried about silly things. A little bit of drama couldn't kill a girl who has faced abandonment head on and taken it all in stride.

A new week was peeking over the horizon and she needed to rest and refocus on her goals. With a final deep breath Anna let her thoughts rest from their running laps around her head and finally let sleep take over.

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A/N
Hello!! I know this is shorter but I had this planned from the start, I really wanted to use the hookup with kate as a peek into Zeke's mind and what he's feeling and going through behind the scenes. I also wanted to dive into Anna's complicated feelings as they're blooming and show how she's reasoning with herself about Mo. Anyway I'm pretty happy with this but maybe I'll edit later we will see. Ily all it makes me so warm and fuzzy inside to see new reads and votes!! Tysm!!! 💗