when is enough, enough?

C.4 // what happened to you?

tommy stared blankly at the sheet of 'paper'. he knew exactly what tubbo was waiting for, staring at him with those.. intense eyes. he lifted his hand slightly to start writing on the board. "I can't talk, I'm sorry." the board read. "What? But, why?" tubbo questioned, in obvious confusion. tommy's face moved no muscle, gripping the pen and continuing to write something new down on the board. "something happened. something bad happened." tommy held the board up. tubbo sighed quietly, crossing his legs on the- long chair.. "Tommy, what happened? Who do I need to mu-" tubbo stopped for a second, clearing his throat. "-have a talk with?" tubbo smiled awkwardly, trying to lighten tommy's non-existent mood. tommy blinked, looking back down on the board to write once more. "I don't remember what happenend." the board read again. this put tubbo at an impasse. what does tommy mean by that? tubbo pondered for a while, scanning around the room for answers.

"Tommy.. Do you remember anything that happened to you? Just tell me bits and I'll try to piece them together! I want to help you.." tubbo's face softens as he reaches to grab tommy's hands. "You're not alone in this." tubbo smiled gently, trying to set tommy to a clearer mindset. so.. wholesome, all of a sudden. tubbo really was a mystery. he could be plotting a crime scene involving murder and arson one second and the next he could be picking flowers in the garden and singing love songs. tubbo took a shakey breath as tommy picked up the pen once more, writing something down. he waited patiently, as tommy took a lot of time to write it. tubbo was preparing to read a shit ton now-

"who are you?"

...

"Tommy?" tubbo slides back in his chair in panic. "What do you- what do you mean by that?" his eyes lock on tommy's, who are lacking any form of expression. tubbo was.. shocked? no, desperate? he was.. desperate. for any sign of emotion behind those dull blue eyes. he felt, an immense amount of guilt? for some reason. he wouldn't be able to put it into words even if he tried. he was.. at an impasse. as tommy always put him in that situation. no way out, no way to solve anything. he just.. sat there. wondering how he's even gonna speak to this brick wall.

"Tommy, it's me. Tubbo. Your bestfriend since.. Years??" tubbo slid closer, putting his hand on  tommy's shoulder. he slightly flinched, which made tubbo pull his arm back. though, tommy's expression never changed. it's like.. it was an instinct. 

tubbo has..

a slight hunch at who may have done this to tommy.

I mean, come on. who else could it have been? the guy who exiled him, the guy who broke out of prison, the guy who tortured everybody, especially tommy, for some reason. it's, disgusting. to think he'd come back to the boy he'd tortured for years on end. it brought a pit to tubbo's stomach how obsessive dreams personality could get.

tubbo reached into a chest nearby, pulling out some golden carrots. "Here." he turned back, handing tommy 24. "You must need some regeneration. you know, cause of the- wounds.." tubbo avoided eye contact, still furious with that green bastard. what the hell? why would he do such an act? what drove him to be such a super-villain? it was just. a lot to take in. especially for tubbo, who has been missing his child for a few days now. it's been hard, for the both of them. but.. tommy needed help. he needed a lot of help. like, this kid is fucking broken. he can't think, feel, remember, he's just.. he's empty. he's nothing anymore. that's not tommy.

the.. well, tubbo was at a standstill. he hadn't realized he'd been staring into tommy's eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time, averting his gaze awkwardly and trying to set himself straight again. "So.." tubbo lifted his hands up to his face, pointing his index fingers towards tommy. "You really can't remember.. anything?" he questioned, mind running wild. tommy averted his gaze, looking down at his knees. gone. he lifted his hand slightly, his lips forming a sort of shake for a bit, before turning it off again and writing something on the board.

"he tortured me, big man. nothing new." the board read, absolute horror washing over tubbo's face. 

"Nothing new..? Tommy, are you insane?? What the hell did he do to you?" tubbo hastily responded, trying not to lunge towards tommy and give him a tight hug or a straight wack on the head. tubbo's intentions were.. all over the place. "Tommy, fucking answer me. What the fuck did the bastard do to you? Why are you so fucked up??" tubbo forced it, intensifying his gaze, locking onto tommy's dull eyes.

tommy took a moment to write stuff down, his eyes becoming even wider, and his pupils shrinking further. he must've been reliving.. a lot of shitty things, while writing that. as he finished, he held the board up slightly, staring into tubbo's eyes, with such an.. intense expression. his pupils were so small. it looked like he was holding back the urge to completely melt down and just scream in pain and agony, but he couldn't. he couldn't scream, he couldn't express his pain, no matter how much he was in. his hands were trembling, but his expression stayed. dull. though, what tubbo was about to read? made him jump out of the chair, almost forgetting to breathe.

"axe of peace, tortured. revived. drowned. revived. stabbed. revived. killed. revived. revive revive revive revive drowned. thrown off, died. killed. stabbed. cut. blood. revived. revived again. help."

tubbo took a step back, looking at tommy's dull expression. he knew. tubbo knew, tommy was asking for help. tommy was practically screaming for help. but.. tubbo was just, taken so aback. this was so much.. it was.. disturbing. tommy really went through that? tubbo couldn't get it out of his mind. wheres ranboo when you need him..

"Toms-" tubbo gagged, clasping his hands over his mouth. he was so.. desperate. this kid.. what did he do to deserve this shit? what did tommy do to deserve this? tubbo couldn't take it anymore, he broke down in tears, lunging at tommy, tightly wrapping his arms around the boy and sobbing. he attempted to speak in between his hics and sobs. "tommy- why. why does this keep happening." tubbo cries, slurring his words and hugging tommy tightly. "We'll get through this, tommy. together. like old times." tommy's bestfriend reassures him, putting his palm on tommy's cheek. "We can build you back up, I promise." tubbo smiles at tommy through his tears, wiping them dismissively from his soft cheeks, sniffling and going back in for a hug.

tommy.. his mind.. it just keeps replaying his death over and over again. he can barely hear anything tubbo's saying, he's just. he's just staring off into the distance, replaying those prime-awful memories. the torture, the abuse, just- everything. tubbo's guidance is bringing tommy nowhere. internally, tommy is screaming and still banging on those walls, like how he did in limbo. but externally? he's dead. he's just.. he's just dead. 

he's dead.

he's dead.

he's- no. no, he's dead.

he's-

...