A buncha dark poems, scribbled nothings

Here She Lies

Numb hands, distant eyes
Lying on the cool bathroom floor, she sighs
Staring at the stained walls, the pale tiles
She's trapped inside, no screams, all lies
And in the midst of it all she thinks again
No one's looking, erase the pain
All the struggle inside her brain
She flushes it down the endless drain

Where do they go? The things I devour?
The dreams are sweet but this is plain sour
She reaches down her throat again
She pulls it out, her intestines, her pain
She cleanses her body, mind and brain
Of things that tend to hold her back
She's done, she's not, she leans further
It all trickles down the bottomless gutter
Her pain, her cries, her misery and sighs
she can't help but wonder how she would suffice

She falls back, she leans against the wall
Wondering what's the point of it all
The immortal suffering, the momentous joy
She questions her choices, she wails, she bawls

She tries and fails and tries again
She begs for freedom from the pain
But soon surrenders to it all,
Gives in to the demons infesting her soul,
Her saviours, her friends, her fiends
They feed on her joy, her giggles, her fame
They bring her solace, they keep her sane
Leeches, they are, but oh so tame
They feed on her conscience, strip her of gain

She gives in, she breaks down
It drags her under, it pulls her down
Her story always goes untold,
Help is a myth, a mere folklore
For as her screams echo off the walls,
No one answers, no one comes forth

She once held it high, her head, her crown
There it lies on the filthy ground
Within her nightmares, comfort she's found
She's lost her voice, she's tied, she's bound
Trapped within the hell inside
She longs to be loved, accepted and found
She shrieks, she whimpers, all in vain
Her mouth is sewn, she makes no sound
Within herself she floats, she drowns

She does this again, can't seem to stop
She retches and retches, she never gets caught
One word echos 'again, again'
Her eyes lose sparkle, her BMI drops
Now as from the floor her insides she mops
"How did it all come to this?"
She ponders, she sobs
Stuffing her mouth with tissues, with soap
Trying to fill in the gaping hole
She struggles to fill the void again
Only to have it run down the drain
It keeps going until she's gone
To never resurface,  never respond

All she ever wished was to be crowned
that's not what they do when her cadaver is found
"She's gone now, she's safe, she's sound.."
Little do they know, it's the other way around
She sacrificed her soul to the hound
Planned her own demise, choked on her sound
Muted herself, her squeals they drowned
So stiff, she lies on the jagged ground
Why oh why does death know no bounds

Her cold corpse rots in the scorching sun
Where's the ease? Where's the fun?
She's shunned by all, rescued by none
Flies infest her carcass, she's devoured, all and one
Resurrection is a lie, she's perceptible to none
"Give me a rope, get me a gun!"
Always thought death was the One
Now rust inhabits her flesh, her heart
She's smothered to death, so cold and numb,
Her hair damp, her body decaying
Her head lopsided, her eyes so still,
"She's here no more, she's gone, she's none.."

If only within her vessel she'd found,
The inevitability of life of death
Of this facade, this cage, this nest
Of immortality, of grief, of grave
She'd still be here, be present, be safe
She would not have sold her soul so soon
To he who wished to see her doom
She'd be free from the shackles,
All that left her in these shambles

That's just how it goes
For you and me
For the children playing in the streets
For the adults rotting before their screens
Memories fade, faces distort
Ahh fate, the perfect retort
For we are mortal, we are weak
Of greed, of sin, of guilt, we reek

Yet as I lie beneath the sky
I know she loved, know she tried
She was muted, trapped inside
Her silent attempts to live, her lows, her highs
I saw it all, I know she tried

And as troubling as this may sound,
I know I'm glad, I know I'm proud
To have known her personally, whom fate trampled over mercilessly
For that girl is me, she's bound, she's free
She cries, she jumps around in glee
Away from all troubles she flees, she talks and sings amongst the trees
Flowers residing in her tangled hair
She's mistaken for one by birds and bees

She's been given another chance
To live, to flail around, to dance
"What is life but a fleeting moment?"
It captivates her mind, alters her stance

And here she stands above it all
She stands proud, she stands tall
Away from all harm and  distress
For here she lies, in a glorious mess
Of broken hearts and hollow laughs
Of trauma that would always last
And as she stands above the grave
Of her past, of her fate
She chuckles and murmurs under her breath
"Here she lies, the one who lived"