Show me how to love

31

Nae pov
"You know how you asked me did I tell anyone else about me getting raped I told Jordan and her exact words were you can't get raped he's your boyfriend and then I told her he was abusive she start dating his

friend forcing me to be around him more and oh this is the best part after all the trauma I finally found someone to love me Flows and all matter of fact two people to love me for just who I am who loved the fucking ground I walked in on and loved breathing my air YOU

FUCKED THEM THEY DONT EVEN LIKE YOU what about my happiness makes you upset from what people say you look better than me have a better body what do you need that I have why does me being happy make you miserable I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt because there aint much love

from you parents you had a strict house hold you ain't get out much but at this point it cant be because of your house your sister is fine she has never done me wrong and she is the one with a real mental disorder please just riddle me this WHAT THE FUCK at this big ass age

makes you wanna hurt your 16 year old little cousin huh I do nothing but love you even when I wanna die I push all my problems to the side just for you why do you go so hard to act like you hate me" "Nadia I

had no idea you felt like that when I said you can't get you know because he's your boyfriend I was young and didn't fully understand I'm so sorry I was only a few year older than you I didn't barley no shit my damn self and as far as nassiah and Amari go we didn't have sex Nae after I came

to check on you and you told me to leave you alone I left the house and went to one of my niggas houses and when I came home after a week I didn't realize I didn't have my keys because he picked me up it

was raining that night and I just couldn't sit In the rain so I went over there to there house and I was soaking wet you probably wouldn't have heard me because you had your music blasting and Angie and

Quanie weren't home they let me in I use Malik bathroom and they said your clothes need to be washed so they handed me siahs clothes and when you walked in on was harmless we were have a debate about something then we started

horse playing I can tell how some of that could have got misinterpreted and I did overstep my boundaries just please you are my best friend and my heart please forgive me I'm going crazy knowing your mad at

I'm so sorry I wish I could change the past I would have just caught pneumonia if I knew it meant loosing you" "so Nadia do you forgive Jordan" I looked at my mom then at Jordan and said "she is forgiven for right now but are

relationship will never be the same you've broke trust you overstepped even speaking to them Malik is single from what we know and always downstairs you could have just used his shower like you said

and use his clothes until one of us got home but you are forgiven but nothing will be forgotten" "ok that's great 2 more and this is a 2 for 1 why are you mad at them" "I was never mad I was disappointed

before we stopped talking y'all became teachers at my school you should have told me y'all are always hollering about oh baby you need to communicate where the fuck was that same energy with that situation I was fucking barley at my own

house because I was always over y'all's ain't no way In hell you forgot then y'all went about addressing the situation all wrong y'all know I hate public confrontation so I don't know why you thought it was ok to get John and Aja involved yes they

are both are own best friends but I don't want anybody to see me arguing with my significant others it's embarrassing but I did think I was overreacting and I was like ok let me explain to them why I'm upset what's going on and

everything will be just fine y'all know y'all dead wrong for doing all that with my cousin y'all know how I feel about her with certain stuff and YALL DONT EVEN LIKE HER like what really went through y'all mind when y'all was doing all that

oh I'm mad at my girlfriend let's make her even madder than us I loved y'all and sometimes I feel like I can't breath without y'all but I really think y'all didn't feel the same y'all didn't even sit me down

and be like ok I know blah blah blah but why are you really upset y'all just went straight for oh your overreacting y'all never thought oh all the girl flirting with us would make her upset all the staff drooling over us would make her uncomfortable how I don't wanna

fight a whole student body over people who say they love me" at this point I just put my head down I think this one hurt the most me and my cousins always go through shit and Avion it's only something

minor but I love these boys and there really breaking me I would have never thought I would be back to the old  me but they brought it out I would have never thought it would be them "first off we do love you stop talking in past tense  we

are sorry we didn't even think about all that and I don't even no why we ain't tell you about us working at the school but you know you never have to worry with us we don't want anybody but you baby look at me

please" I didn't look up and kept my head on the table I was about to have a panic attack and I was trying to stop it there are to many voices and conversations sinking in at once but I finally calmed myself

down and looked at them "Nassiah Amari I'm so sorry I forgive you but I can't be in a relationship with y'all I would just be hurting myself acting like when I see other females I feel as though look better than me

trying to get with one of y'all or a staff member flirt and me not being able to say anything because you could loose your job that would just be to much on me I'm sorry"