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pushing and pulling in this love affair, what must i do for you to love me?
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Alright.
Kim Sunoo!
"Areum?"
Kim Sunoo, listen. I really, really...
really...
like you!
"Areum!" I widen my eyes, shaking my head. He's already curiously staring at me, tilting his head softly. "Why are you staring at me like that? You seemed a bit... constipated for a bit. Are you alright? Should we ask the conductor to stop the ride? Are you dizzy?"
Did constipated have to be the right word in context? Couldn't he instead have said hesitant, scared, anxious... why constipated, why? I wasn't even thinking about the thought of you a p-
I won't even go there. It's not worth the humiliation in mind.
"No, I'm alright. Sunoo, are you alright?" He nods happily, clasping his hands together. "That's good, then. Let's enjoy the rest of the ride."
"Mhm!" Maybe it was the happy glint in his eyes that reassured me. His hands were soft. I could feel one of them around my shoulders as our skin touched. His being, in itself, was gentle, that I almost felt that one wrong move from me could ruin it. I wanted to compare him to Neptune, but he isn't cold. I'd compare him to Mercury, hot to the touch. Surely, he was attractive, but simply being around him made me heat up. He was full of creativity, energy, communication, just as the planet's symbolism had been. He was everything I wanted to be, everything I see in myself that I could never do. Being like him meant that I could get to know him better.
But, being with him, meant the risk of falling harder than I already have.
The ride had ended, and the slower it went, the more I wished this moment could last eternally. I wish we... could be considered 'eternally.'
I had a second of doubt, just briefly. What if what I was doing was wrong? What if the fixated image in his head was not me? What if, just if, he had someone else all this time?
