We'll Get Through This

Part 5

Sleep that night was better than the night before but Maya still woke up around 3, her mind racing and body just feeling on edge. She hated feeling like this and knew she probably needed to get in to see her therapist at some point soon, but she really just needed to make sure Carina and the girls were ok.

As Maya adjusted her anxious body in bed, she was startled when she heard Carina said "Bambina, are you ok?"

"Why are you awake?" Maya asked, rubbing her eyes as she looked at her wife.

"I don't know," Carina sighed, "Too anxious and too many things happening in my head. What about you?"

"Same," Maya said, moving closer to her wife, "What are you thinking about?"

"Everything," Carina said, "About how I am going to tell my boss and friends, about how this is going to affect my work and you and the girls, about surgery and radiation and the fact that I am going to never be able to carry a baby again, about how I just want this to not be happening."

"I'm sorry," Maya said, pulling Carina into a hug as the Italian started to cry, "I wish I could take this all away from you. It's going to be ok. We are going to get you through this. I will be right here with you and do whatever I can to make sure you are ok, and the girls too. I promise Carina."

By the time Maya finished, she was in tears too, both of them just clinging to each other. Eventually, they both stopped crying, just holding onto each other.

"I love you," Carina said, yawning a little bit.

"I love you too," Maya said, "Try to go to sleep, ok?"

"You need to sleep too," Carina said, pulling away and looking at her wife.

"I will try," Maya said, brushing a piece of hair off her forehead, "Just close your eyes."

Carina just cuddled close to Maya, rubbing her hand up and down her back.

Carina eventually drifted off to sleep and while Maya never completely fell asleep, she did manage to calm down enough to stay in bed until 5 which was her normal time to get up.

She carefully extracted herself from Carina's arms, deciding to run outside today. She pulled on her warm running gear, knowing it wouldn't be particularly warm given that it was early February, but it was usually ok if it wasn't raining. She checked on the girls, happy they were still asleep, before heading downstairs to stretch.

Soon enough, she was out on her run, letting herself just focus on the feeling of her feet hitting the pavement, of the wind on her cheeks. She ran for about an hour, getting home a little before 6:30. She did her cool down stretches before going inside, listening for the twins. Satisfied they were still sleeping, she went into the kitchen, stretching a little bit more as she drank some water.

She had to be at 19 by 8 today to make sure the inspection started promptly at 8:30 so she could be with Carina by 11:30. She headed upstairs to shower, checking in on the twins who were thankfully still sleeping.

She then went into the master bedroom, finding Carina cuddling with her pillow in her sleep. Maya smiled as she headed into the bathroom. She got in the shower, trying not to yawn as she washed her hair. Even though she had gotten better sleep the night before, she was still exhausted, feeling her anxiety bubbling up in her chest. She worked on some breathing techniques as she scrubbed her body, trying to just focus on the task at hand and not the fact that by the end of the day, all of their friends would know what was going on with Carina.

It wasn't that she didn't want people to know because she did, she wanted to make sure Carina had as much support as she could, but telling people made it feel real and she desperately didn't want it to be. She wanted her wife to be fine, to not have to have surgery or radiation or all the pain and suffering that would come along with it.