The Heartbreaker's Agenda

081 (part two)

RAFA PUT ME in charge of cooking the slab of pork ribs that they bought. I didn't mind doing it anyway, Levin and I usually have barbecue when we are too lazy to cook anything complicated. Granted, I'm not the best cook, so a simple meal always does the trick.

"Tahimik mo. Something wrong?" Rafa asked while he was busy putting coal on the grill made of bricks.

Monty looked up from the long table on the side which will serve as our dinner table later tonight. 

I shook my head. "Nothing. I'm just tired."

A piece of carrot that Monty was chopping flew towards me and landed on my neck. "Ano nga? Hindi mo kami maloloko sa ganyan."

I flicked the piece of vegetable from my neck and turned towards them. "I'm just not sure about this whole anonymous setup. Parang nagdadalawang-isip ako kung magpapakilala pa ako."

"Why?"

"Naisip ko lang. . . would she still like me if she finds out that I'm me? I have a bad rep and I don't have much going on in my life na pwede kong maipagmalaki, 'di ba?"

The frown on Rafa's forehead told me that he didn't like what I said. He usually doesn't especially if I'm full of shit at the moment. 

"Isn't that the whole reason you're in this anonymous pen pal situation anyway? To have no judgments or prejudice?"

I grabbed the rack from the pan that it was marinating in. "Yeah, but still, that could change once she knows who I am."

And it's scary. 

"If she likes the anonymous you, then she'll likely fall for the real you." Monty chimed in.

"You don't know that. Tayo nga, nag-away away muna tayo bago tayong naging magkakaibigan. In highschool. Remember?"

"Yeah, but that's different. It was our male ego talking. Iba naman 'yong sa 'yo." 

"I dunno. I guess I just feel a little nervous. What if I'm not the guy she pictured in her head? Isn't that disappointing?" I said in a low voice.

I don't want to disappoint Gwen. The last thing she needs is someone who'll ruin her life, and seeing my life right now, I don't have much to offer.

Rafa tapped my back. "Jass, you're a great person. Tarantado lang minsan, but a great friend. So I'm sure she'll like you."

I released a heavy sigh as I placed the slab on the grill. It's just probably my nerves talking.

But it will hurt if she decides to stop talking. Just thinking about it brings a deep ache in my chest that I'm not used to having, let alone feeling it for someone else.

✿ ✿ ✿

I placed the plate with the barbecue at the center of the table where we were all gathered to have dinner. Maggie was fixing our drinks while her sister was setting the table.

My eyes automatically scanned the area for Gwen, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Si Gwen?" I asked Maggie.

"Nagse-set up ng bonfire. She's just putting some chairs around it."

I frowned. Does she need help? Why is she doing it all on her own? Before I could follow her on the sea side, she came up bounding with an armful of packages of marshmallows.

She grinned when she saw us waiting for her. "Sabi nung caretaker ibibigay niya sa atin 'yong mahahabang sticks for the marshmallows. So we can cook it sa bonfire mamaya."

"Do you have graham crackers too?" I heard Monty ask from the other end of the table.

Gwen nodded and placed the marshmallows on the table. We were already helping ourselves with the food, so I took the opportunity to hand her a plate because she was too far from Monty who was the closest to it.