Alexandeer's Touhou Headcanons: Wattpad Edition

The Backstory Info Chapter

Remilia, Flandre et al

The Sisters Scarlet, Remilia and Flandre, were born somewhere in Western Europe in 1503 and 1507 respectively. Their father was a successful merchant who just happened to be a vampire. Vampires of the Scarlet bloodline never pass into true undeath and as such aren't immortal; they just age extremely slowly (I think that's canon). The sisters made themselves immortal shortly after their parents were killed by vampire hunters (they had it coming), using an occult ritual that can only be used during childhood - in essence, living forever by refusing to grow up.

[serious darkcanon warning] The half-Lunarian who would eventually come to be known as Izayoi Sakuya was born in the early 1840s in what is now Romania. Originally a devout Christian, Sakuya lost her faith after her mother, known in their community as a kind and wise healer, was brutally killed by an angry mob who believed she was a witch. Unable to accept that God would allow such acts of brutality in His name, Sakuya forsook her faith and became a wandering vagrant, eventually falling in with a clan of vampire hunters. For years, Sakuya fought and killed vampires all across Europe. Entire bloodlines were wiped out by this strange champion. Eventually, one of her hunts took her to Cumbria and the supposed stronghold of the mysterious House Scarlet, which, unbeknownst to Sakuya and her fellow hunters, had been reduced to only two members. Of course, two members were all they needed. When the hunters reached the manor house, they found it in ruins. Within minutes of entering, they were wiped out without any warning by the Scarlet Devil herself. Except for Sakuya. The young prodigy fought the legendary vampire to a standstill, before Remilia made her an offer. Sakuya would be recognised as a worthy opponent and spared if she agreed to help Remilia rebuild her family home. If she refused, Remilia would open the basement door. Sakuya accepted Remilia's offer, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Little is known about the past of the magician known as Patchouli Knowledge, but it is believed that she was born somewhere in rural Italy at some point between 1750 and 1885. She is known to be related to the Scarlet household's previous magician, who died tragically in a magical accident in the winter of 1896. The earliest confirmed sighting of Patchouli in the mansion was in January of 1899.

The creature of the Lower Planes known only as Koakuma is actually many thousands of years old (she stopped counting somewhere after 3000), making her the oldest non-Lunarian Touhou. In ancient times, she was worshipped as a benevolent love goddess in the Near East, but the rise of monotheism and the often-literal demonisation of polytheistic deities it required led to her being seen as an evil creature of lust, and because the supernatural is shaped by belief, this caused her to literally become a demon.

Everyone else

The "secret god" Matara Okina was born a normal human, but became a unique youkai at an unknown point in her life. It is unclear how this happened or what her original abilities as a youkai were, to say nothing about what she was like as a human, but what is known is that becoming a youkai did little to help her prominent limp, which was caused by a mysterious childhood illness from which she never fully recovered; to this day she still frequently wakes up in pain. Eventually she met fellow human-turned-youkai Yakumo Yukari, and instantly fell in love. As Okina grew more powerful, several people -human and youkai alike- came to worship her. Eventually, these people converted enough others to their beliefs that their collective faith became powerful enough to make Okina into a minor god in her own right, allowing her to work miracles to attract even more followers. Several years later, Okina and Yukari were among those summoned by the Ryuujin to become what would later become known as the Sages of Gensokyo. And the rest, as they say, is history.

The Yorigami twins are relative newcomers to Gensokyo; as fewer and fewer people believed in binbogami, the sisters began to fade into fantasy. Their arrival in Gensokyo was anything but impressive; they just woke up one morning and there they were.

[WaHH spoiler warning] The Four Devas of the Mountain, composed of Ibuki Suika, Hoshiguma Yuugi, Ibaraki "Ibara" Kasen, and an unknown fourth member, were a quartet of legendary oni warriors who united their people to conquer the world. However, because of their poor leadership, they only managed to conquer the Youkai Mountain. They were, however, able to maintain control of the mountain for several centuries before being dethroned by Tenma. Each of the known Devas has a different origin: Suika came from a long line of oni heroes and was born with supernatural gifts including her power over density; Yuugi was similarly born with strange powers and also trained for years to become the strongest oni who ever lived, stronger than even the oni gods (not that that's saying much; they're basically glorified hitmen); while Kasen was originally a normal human (I think that might be canon) who had lost her arm after inadvertently offending a tengu, before Suika entrusted her with the Ibaraki Medicine Box. The properties of the Box restored Kasen's arm, but also began the process of turning her into an oni herself. Not long after, circumstances led Kasen to discover that Suika hadn't told her the whole truth about the Box; the Ibukis had stolen it from the rival Ibaraki clan, who were offering their eternal gratitude to whoever could return it to them. Kasen sought out the Ibarakis to return the Box, and was rewarded by being made an honourary member of the family, even being allowed to use the Ibaraki family name. No-one knows how the Devas came together (not like that, get your mind out of the gutter) or how they became conquerers, but they did, and they ruled over youkai mountain for centuries, until one day, the mountain was invaded by the tengu, the ancient rivals of the oni race. After Kasen parted ways with the other Devas to seal her oni self, the oni were missing a leader and what little social order they had was starting to fall apart. The tengu were easily able to break through what passed for ranks among the oni but were stopped dead in their tracks by the remaining Devas. This all changed when the kappa, previously "loyal" to the oni, changed sides and presented the tengu leaders with a weapon that they called the Youkai Warhead. This device was all it took to completely and utterly defeat the three remaining devas, causing the oni to turn on each other without their leaders. Tenma further humiliated a wounded Suika by stealing her favourite hat and cursing her with the appearance of a little girl forever. Humiliated, the remaining oni abandoned the mountain in defeat, allowing Tenma to become its undisputed ruler until the arrival of the Moriya Shrine centuries later. [End of spoilers]

Bonus: Koakuma's ancient origins mean she is fluent in many ancient languages, including Sumerian, Akkadian, Biblical Hebrew, Old and Middle Persian, Sanskrit (both Vedic and Classical) and Ancient Egyptian, allowing her to translate various ancient texts for Patchouli (see chapter 9).

A/N: I'm doing two tonight. Next one's coming right up.