When the Heart is Ash (I'll Savor Your Warmth)

Searing Futility

Despite his exhaustion, he didn't sleep last night. Not even after Bakugo hopped back down the railing and onto his own floor. Shouto stood out on his balcony for hours, just watching the traffic of Shizuoka bleed into their end of the area, the stars slowly fading as the sky turned purple and then blue, the start of a day Shouto already dreaded.

He didn't know why he dreaded it, at first. Maybe starting something new and having to finish it has become too much. Like the grudge with his father. Shouto is so tired from being angry with him all the time. But it's not like he can control the feeling.

Shouto dreaded the day early on, without even knowing what was waiting for him.

After a long night, Shouto got dressed, put together his schoolwork, took two painkillers, skipped breakfast, and walked to school with a way too loud Kaminari and Mineta.

He was greeted with:

"We'll be holding over-the-phone parent meetings, to talk about grades and visits."

Aizawa doesn't look very enthusiastic about it, pointedly avoiding Shouto's stare.

While Iida takes role, Shouto thinks of excuses to get out of visiting Endeavor. Maybe he can say that since Endeavor is a busy man, he'd rather be at the dorms than alone at his house.

But then Fuyumi might speak up, tell Shouto he should come home.

Or Natsu might want to hang out, which, as nice as it sounds, is not Shouto's idea of a good time.

Maybe Shouto can camp out with mom and the nurses at the hospital. They've always voiced how they like Shouto.

But that sounds like it's not allowed.

"Todoroki."

Shouto raises his hand, "Here."

Iida nods, sharing a look with Midoriya, and then Uraraka, before looking back to his sheet, "Yaoyorozu."

"Here."

"Thank you. Sensei..."

Shouto drifts in and out of class. He recognizes that he's supposed to work in their heroics book. He also recognizes that his pencil is in his hand but unmoving. His eyes feel stuck on the front of his desk, glued there by fear and hope that everything will stop.

After a while, Satou stands and leaves his desk, his papers and bag still there. Which could only mean Shouto is next. That's bad. He needs to come up with a lie about home.

But Aizawa knows, and he knows which lies were lies and which were not. He'll vouch for Shouto.

Not without causing uproar. The Todoroki family isn't exactly quiet. Not the head of it, anyway. There's only one secret they can keep and they keep it by pretending nothing ever happened.

"Todoroki," Shouto jolts out of his head, Satou's hand on his shoulder. "Uh... sorry. It's just that," he looks around nervously, retracting his hand, "Sensei says you can go in."

Shouto exhales deeply, pretending he can ignore the stares of his classmates. "Thanks," he mutters, standing from his seat and pushing his chair in.

As expected, Aizawa is very knowing of the predicament. He clears his throat and nods to the seat in front of him. "I know what I said about the home visits and needing permission, but Nedzu changed some things. There's something about maintenance in 1-B's dorm building and the third years needing extra cleanup in a dorm room... it just worked out differently than any of us had planned."

Shouto sits, hands fisted on his knees, "So... everyone is going home, then?"

Aizawa shakes his head, "Fortunately, Nedzu's decision was partially made upon guilt," he cringes, and Shouto leans forward to listen more intently. "The two buildings that need to be cleaned out or fixed will be going home. Nedzu just felt bad for the rest of you, so this winter break, you all can leave as you please, as long as your parents call beforehand."