When the Heart is Ash (I'll Savor Your Warmth)

Apricity

The night has been illuminated with fireworks and the moon is brighter than it has ever been in his life. Shouto loves the balcony, even if he will never get to be outside with the kids downstairs, he loves to watch them play. Loves to watch the way their eyes light up with wonder with each explosion, loves the sounds of their voices as they scream out colors to try and guess which will appear next.

He loves his mom, she always finds time for him, so he doesn't have to be alone. He fears, that if she weren't here, the night would be all too dark.

He watches her, the girl downstairs, with such wonder in his eyes that it prompts his mother to explain. "That's Fuyumi. She's your older sister."

Shouto leans forward, and Rei's hands grab underneath his arms, pulling him back from the edge. "Not too far, Shouto," she warns softly, voice like snow.

Shouto points to them all, "Can I play with them," he asks, childlike wonder invading his desires.

Rei shakes her head and pulls him from the view, into her lap. Her slender hands card through his hair, pulling out knots from earlier's training.

"Maybe, Shouto. Maybe when you're older."

Shouto frowns, "I wanna now, momma."

She leans her chin on his shoulder, cheek providing warmth to his neck. "Not now, Shouto. It's too dangerous."

Shouto leans forward just slightly, once again, looking to where the girl- Fuyumi, he remembers- is passing a ball to a white-haired kid much taller than her. She laughs, and then a boom sounds in the air. She points at the red that bursts into the night sky, mouth open in awe. Her own eyes follow her finger, all the way until she's pointing at Shouto, and she stares back at him.

He isn't sure what he expects, maybe for her to be disgusted like father says everyone will be, once they find out how weak Shouto is. But instead, she smiles, and it's the most surprising thing Shouto's witnessed.

And then she waves, and his heart stops in his chest.

He frantically taps on his mother's shoulder, pointing and babbling for her to look down at Fuyumi, at his sister. When she finally leans forward, Fuyumi sees Rei, too, and she waves even quicker, smile intensifying. Rei gives a gentle wave back, smiling down at her daughter.

He stares at Fuyumi for a bit longer, and when he finally, finally looks away, he sees that his mother is crying, starry tears flooding her vision.

"Shouto, I just want them to be happy like this... all the time."

Shouto nods, and he doesn't know why, but he feels like he should be crying too. He hugs his mother, latching onto her so tightly he might never let go. She squeezes back, gently, because Endeavor says she is weak, and Shouto doesn't care because he knows it's a lie.

"Me too, momma," he says, and no tears slip past. How could he look at someone like Fuyumi (who has stars in her eyes and wonder in her heart and whose smile is so, so bright), and feel sad?

When he awakes, there is a sense of dread sitting heavy in his chest. He can't remember what he did, he does know that he did not feel so sick last night, when he... slept?

He struggles to open his eyes at all, and past the fog in his brain, he hears a beeping, going faster, faster, faster, until someone is whispering, mumbling words of safety into the room and he is okay? At least, according to the voice, he is.

It takes him nearly thirty minutes to really open his eyes and sit up. He is covered in wires and tubes and there is a shallow basin next to his bed, he knows it is for vomiting, but why does he need it? How does anyone know he feels nauseous? Did he tell someone?