One Million Tiny Things

Forever is a sham

Dear Giovva,
I've been in your house for the past week and you haven't come around to greet me, it's almost made me doubt your existence. I was so sure Kyle was lying when he said he remarried, I didn't think anybody could ever get over me.

And even if you were real, it was insulting and demeaning that this was how you treated guests. I was searching for you to thank you for your generous hospitality. But you were nowhere to be found, almost as if you were hiding. I believed you to be hiding from me.

But then last night I saw you. Standing off in a corner of the corridor hugging the butler's son. Poor Andrew would be appaled if he knew. But, just for the sake of entertainment, I'll act like I'm surprised. Like I didn't know all along just what sort of person you were. But I had given you the benefit of the doubt, I honestly believed you to be hiding, but you couldn't care less. About me or even Kyle. I've figured you out, Giovva. You're the type of person that only thinks of you, you and you. You wanted Kyle, you got it.
You want Tim, you got it.
I wouldn't be completely surprised if you flirt with Julian during  dinner.
Now that I'm armed with that little piece of knowledge, I'll say this simply.

Don't do anything at this dinner that might cause problems. Or Tim gets fired. And even if you don't care about him, your reputation and your marriage hopefully mean something to you.

Does it bother you? The two Mrs. Girbys. I never changed my name, you know. Does it hurt? That I'm living in your house like it all still belonged to me?

Giovva, I don't mean to be hurtful, but you remind me of my daughter, beautiful, intelligent but at the same time unbelievably stupid. You never know to appreciate what you've got until it's too late. You think of yourself as the most cunning person in the room and in doing so, you underestimate everybody around you.

You might have deep plans and schemes that stretch for miles, but what you fail to notice is that every person that is going to be in that room tonight hides their true intentions.

My children are both undeniably crafty. You think Julian married for love. That he's a talented, innocent, sweet boy? He could kill somebody without flinching an eye. That's how Kyle has raised them. And, coward that I was, I didn't stay around to stop it.
He married a very rich young girl, bringing even more money into the buisness. And a intelligent one at that. Never underestimate Christine. She's got connections all over the world and she knows exactly how to use them. She could crush you to pieces without so much as lifting a finger.

And Julia, she's often referred to as the devil's advocate. I think you'd agree, given that she almost tried to murder you. She used to push so hard to do everything, we used to be unbelievably proud of her. But now, she knows much more than she used to. She's learnt of her ability to charm and get off scot-free if she wants. A charming, beautiful young lady paired with cash is never a good combo. But, that's twirled around to her advantage.
I don't know how or why, but any information of any consequence comes to her attention as soon as it happens. Illicit affairs, involvement in crimes, money schemes and shams, illegitimate children, she's got all of it. I wouldn't be surprised if she knew of you and Tim. I'd be a little extra careful if I were the two of you.
She might be powerful but what makes her dangerous is that she doesn't care. She went overboard a long time ago. And extreme is the only mode she responds to.

I never know what Kyle is thinking, do you? All my demons have his face, all my nightmares look like him and I've come to a point where the less I see of him, the better. I know you don't necessarily believe me.

I'm not here for him or for the money or lands, like you believe. Nor am I here, to irritate and anger you like the old me would have done. I'm here for my children. You can have your doubts and raise your big innocent eyes to me with contempt and judgement but I'm telling the truth. I've seen more of the world than you have, Giovva. And darling, it's not a pretty place. It's easy to lose your loved ones and eventually yourself. One moment it's a field of flowers, next moment it becomes one of thornes. You never know which step is going to go wrong, which action would set off the landmine.

I believed, just like you do now, that the Girbys were good people. That this marriage was perfect. But forever is a sham. A conniving act that hides all its problems behind red roses and bridal trains.

Some people just never change no matter how hard you try. And when you realise you've wasted your life at the expense of a snake, its too late. Kyle wins all over again.

But I have my kids and even if they don't remember me all that much, I want them to know that I'm here for them. Julian and Julia have long since grown up. Maybe they don't need a mother. But I need them. They don't believe it anymore, can't even stand being in a room with me, but I do love them. More than I ever thought I could.

See you tonight,
Sincerely,
Doria Girby.