Between Us

Chapter Seven: Under the Stars

I wish there was another show like Merlin I could watch. Something magical and light but also set in the medieval time period.
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Unfortunately for Merlin he and the Princess's handmaiden had to accompany her and Arthur on their evening stroll. They walked a couple of paces behind the two to give them privacy and Merlin absolutely wanted to rush off. He never knew he could dislike a Princess so much especially one that had not done anything to him so far. He held back a heavy sigh and looked over at the handmaiden that was watching him carefully.

Her dark curls framed her face, she was much smaller than the princess, and her gaze was much softer as well. Merlin could tell she was a kind person even though they hadn't spoken a word to each other. Her dark brown eyes studied Merlin for a moment before they looked down at the ground. He looked away as well his neck flushed from the sudden eye contact. He hoped she was just curious and nothing more.

"Merlin." Arthur looked back at the two of them, "can you set up right the blanket over there."

Arthur pointed towards a spot near the lake. It was quiet outside of the soft hoots from an owl, the moon's glow casted a silver hue around the lake, and Merlin could've sworn that in the nights light Arthur looked even more stunning than usual. His bright blue eyes popped from the pale glow of the moon against his skin and his smile became much more comforting. Merlin shook his head hopping to change his train of thought and started to set up their spot for the night. He was sure Arthur wouldn't claim this to be actual courting; if it were Merlin wouldn't be there. Or at least Merlin hoped that was the case.

Arthur watched quietly as Merlin set up the blanket; he seemed stoic to the prince and Arthur couldn't help the frown that reached his lips. Merlin smoothed the blanket and helped the princess take her seat; he cupped her hand gently and made sure she sunk gracefully into her seat. Arthur handed Merlin his sword and took his seat besides the Princess. Merlin and the handmaiden stood seven paces away from the two as to give them privacy. But the further Merlin moved away the more his stomach churned with a burning jealousy.

"Merlin." The Princess looked back at him, "do you mind giving us some privacy."

Merlin nodded and tried to swallow the unmoving lump in his throat. His face burned and he backed away far enough to be out of ear shot. He could see how the Princess leaned into Arthur and how the Prince tried his best to gently move away without offending her. They spoke with smiles on their faces and the sight of it made Merlin's stomach ache. He looked over at the maiden in waiting and she watched the other two with a small smile and a wistful look in her eyes.

The night settled and the animals hummed low tunes throughout the forest and Merlin could sense the calm energy they were radiating. The hairs on his neck stood and he could feel electricity start to fill the air; he wanted to burn her and everything she loved down but he also knew Arthur was a willing participant in what ever was going on. Merlin wanted to disappear or strike everyone down or act like none of this happened. He couldn't take it.

"Just makes you want to weep, huh?" Her handmaiden looked over at Merlin with soft eyes, "to be so in love is a gift we rarely all get to enjoy."

"I-in love?" Merlin sputtered out.

"Oh can't you see it." She sighed and Merlin bit the inside of his cheek.

He watched them and he could see now how the princess fluttered her eyelashes to entice Arthur or the way his hand lingered on her shoulder longer than necessary. Merlin knew why he felt a wave of nausea but he tried his best to keep it buried. The Princess's laugh tinkled through the air as she laughed at one of Arthur's jokes. Merlin knew the Prince wasn't that funny; he's heard most of his jokes. Merlin held back a scoff and took a seat on a nearby bolder his back now turned towards Arthur. He couldn't stand to watch them together.

He tried to shake the insecure thoughts in his head but to no avail. Arthur didn't like men and he certainly didn't see Merlin like that so there was no point in trying to convince himself otherwise. He could feel himself growing light headed the longer he stood by then so so he decided to get up and walk a little farther. He found a tree that was still visible to the others and he put most of his weight on it. Though the night had a beautiful breeze he felt like he was suffocating.

He could see a soft glow of light appear on his palms and be immediately shoved his hands in his pockets to avoid getting caught. His cheeks burned with embarrassment and the lights quickly went out; he felt silly for ever thinking anything between him and Arthur could happen.
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As the night went on Merlin could feel his embarrassment growing and his anger simmering deep into his stomach. He kept kicking himself for his thought process and as they packed up for Arthur and this princess Merlin found it difficult to look Arthur in the eyes as he spoke. The walk back was much faster than the walk there and Merlin couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped his lips once he made it back to his chambers and was finally alone.

He peeled off his jacket and threw it on a nearby chair before throwing himself onto his cot and shutting his eyes. He tried his best not to think about what just happened or how he's been feeling, but he could feel his cheeks growing warm and tears welling in his eyes. He sucked in a deep breath and quickly tossed his shoes off. He slipped underneath his thin blanket and blew the candle in his room out.

Merlin was hoping that the quiet dark would settle his restless mind. It only seemed to make his thoughts louder. More ashamed. He opened his eyes and stared at the pitch black ceiling. He couldn't believe that he ever thought that he and Arthur had a chance. Arthur was going to have to wed one day and Merlin felt ridiculous for thinking it would be him.

He shut his eyes and slowed his breathing trying his best to steady the thoughts that were racing in his head. He didn't know how he would handle Arthur getting married or worse having a kid. It all sounded like a massive nightmare to Merlin. He sucked in a deep breath and then exhale slowly. He repeated that process over and over until he fully fell asleep. What he failed to notice before falling to sleep was the bright pink glow that was once in his hands now on his chest.

The light burned through the night.