Life and lemons 🍋

Think before you speak

I have this problem...

I say things.

Without thinking.

Which is weird because I'm also an over thinker.

But it kinda goes hand in hand because everytime I say something stupid I play it again and again in my head until I regret saying it in the first place.

In my head, it may sound like a very witty and cool thing to say- but when I say it out loud, oh no, no, no- things go downhill FAST.

And then what do I do? Smile and laugh awkwardly and say, "Oh no I didn't mean it like that!" while the other person stares at me like I'm a wacko (which to be fair, I kinda am).

So unfortunately, I've had multiple experiences relating to this, and most of them have been very awkward for me and the person I'm talking to.

The worst part is that sometimes, I say things in a weird tone and it comes across as sarcastic-- when I don't really mean it like that-- to the point where it had become a recurring joke in my family. After every compliment or opinion I gave I would add a "I'm not being sarcastic" in the end, just to clarify y'know?

I like to think that over the past few years, I've gotten better at thinking before I speak, though there have been quite a few weird incidents due to this problem of mine. BUTT one of them has been the funniest and most awkward and, of course I'm going to spill it out and expose myself. SO ladies, gentlemen and non-binary friends, I present to you-

My narration of an event which will help you understand the meaning of the phrase "think before you speak!"

It was a glorious day, the weather was nice, it was the middle of my summer vacation and I was super happy after eating a good meal (That's the best kind of feeling) but what made it even more amazing was that Kiwi (I've decided to call my sister that for a matter of convenience) and I were going to meet our friend Mango after ages. We were on our way to pick up Mango from her house and the excitement was at an all time high!

"I'm so excited to meet Mango!" Kiwi exclaimed, I smiled and nodded my head in agreement. We looked out of the car window excitedly, thinking of all the fun things we were going to do that day . It was always so nice to meet an old friend. After a while we finally reached Mango's house and we saw her waiting for us, almost jumping with excitement as she saw us pull up. Soon enough Mango was in the car with us and the three of us were chattering away happily.

"How are you Mango? It's been SO long!" I asked, squishing her with a bear hug.

There was a bit of small talk as we caught up with each other's lives and discovered what we'd all been up to.

Kiwi and Mango were talking about what they had done in the past few weeks or so and I was intently listening, interrupting sometimes in between to add my own little bits.

"I actually redecorated my room..."

"OHH"

"I finally finished my puzzle!"

"OHHH"

"I met the cutest little dog the other day"

"OHHHH" (this one was more like an AW-OHH)

I was frustrated by the amount of times they kept saying "OHH" so, of course I used my brain and came up with something which (to me) felt like the smartest thing ever. I stopped them and said it.

I didn't realise what it sounded like, but the confused faces of my friends when I uttered those words was not the reaction I had expected.

The two of them stared at me for a hot minute and then burst into laughter. I was confused but proudly thought to myself, "Woah, was my joke that good?" and after silently applauding myself for thinking of such a brilliant joke, joined in on the laughter.

Mango and Kiwi finally said something, trying very hard to control their laughter.

"Did you even listen to what you said?" Mango asked me, while Kiwi was bellowing with laughter behind her and added "She most definitely didn't."

I gave her a confused look, "Umm yes? It's a smart pun right?"

The other two started laughing again and I smiled awkwardly. This was getting more and more confusing by the minute.

They looked at me in exasperation, the fact that I had still not realised was very funny to them.

And then it HIT me like a rock.

I widened my eyes in shock and shrugged, "Oh god no I didn't mean it that way-" Kiwi and Mango's loud laughter drowned out my sentence. Tears were rolling down their cheeks (not really, but you get the point lmao) and I looked at them laughing at myself, but also embarrassed about what I had said.

"I get it, it sounded way better in my head but it was a great pun okay?" I said, also laughing and trying to make myself look better. Internally though was dying at how stupid the joke I had so "cleverly" come up with was.

"It was amazing," Kiwi said sarcastically.

The three of us started laughing again.

————

Years have passed and Mango, Kiwi and I still remember this moment clearly. It is probably one of the funniest memories we have together.

Instead of getting embarrassed about my joke, I decided to embrace it and now I'm proud of it! (Ok maybe not proud, but it's not so bad after all)

Now, I'm sure you all are wondering what was it that I said? I think I've stretched it out enough so I'll finally tell you haha...

The AMAZING pun/joke I said was-

"Stop your O's or I'll P"

I don't think there's any further explanation required. Do what you want with this information, lmao I'm really putting myself out there with this chapter. Now you know how dumb my sense of humour is.

(Hopefully you found this funny and worth the wait, and I'm sorry for stretching it out so much lol)

ANYWAYYYY-

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter <3

Let me know if there's anything more specific you want me to write about, I'm open to suggestions! And definitely let me know if you've been through a situation like this before haha, it's always super fun to know what others have experienced :)

⭑ What's something you regret saying? ⭑