Te Amo <3 (A Spamano Fanfic)

Chapter 6: Lingering Feelings

Chapter 6: Lingering Feelings

I know exactly what you’re going to ask. How am I doing? How’s Romano doing? I can tell you now, I have no idea. He seems fine for the most part but he has been ignoring me more, which I understand. Who wouldn’t keep away from the person who pretty much rejected him? He keeps to himself and regardless of whatever I say he pretty much does the opposite. I guess he hasn’t changed much but he has grown confidence.

I’m not really sure about myself either. Ever since then I feel the same, even physically better, but something always feels wrong. Something keeps telling me to do something, but what? I have no idea what I am supposed to do and it’s not like there’s a ‘how to deal with human emotions’ manual out there. So I just keep going along with my normal plan, acting like a good friend to him. He always accepted me as that, regardless of whatever he really wanted me to be.

“Spain, you’re drooling,” the punk complained, “You space out too much.”

“Yeah, yeah. Like you don’t, Mr.Daydreamer,” I laughed, rising my head from the hand it was leaning on.

“Whatever!” he spat “Here.”

He raised his sleeve to my mouth and used it to wipe off the drool. It was kind of disgusting the way the spit latched onto his shirt. I instantly stood up from the chair I was sitting on to roll back his long sleeve, covering up the spit. Why didn’t he just let me get it? It would’ve made things easier. I sighed as I shook my head.

“Go change your shirt. I know you want to take care of me but I can handle my own drool,” I smiled.

He stood there for a moment, staring. For a minute I thought he was going to kiss me again but he groaned and walked off to his bedroom to get another shirt. I pushed in the chair I sat at and stood in the doorway, waiting for him to return. When he ran out of the bedroom I was astonished to find him wearing one of my shirts, hanging loosely on his shoulders.

“Is that mine?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“I didn’t have an extra one.” He grumbled, walking through the doorway past me.

I just shrugged my shoulders, not really caring either way. He seemed to be blushing for whatever reason, or maybe it was just a trick of the light. I walked out to the tomato fields, ready to work another day. The sun seemed even brighter today, looming over my head. The temperature had increased allot as well, making today one of the harder working days. There was always a few very bad days.

The sweat just seemed to pour off my forehead. I had to wrap of cloth just to keep it from getting into my eyes. I looked over to see Romano suffering just as much. Maybe we should take the day off, at least for Romano’s sake. The kid has been through enough. I stood up, wavering slightly.

My vision was blurred by the sun and I was breathing heavily. We had only been out here an hour and it already felt like a day’s work. I turned to Romano who was looking at me, eyes widened. I smiled at him, knowing exactly what he must be thinking.

“Relax, I’m fine.” I assured him.

“No, you’re not.” He responded.

He stood up, putting a hand on my shoulder. I hadn’t realized it until then but I had been shaking and his hand seemed to steady me. I rested my hand on his hand as a silent thanks and he froze in place. That’s when I realized I had to be more considerate of his feelings toward me. We were practically holding hands now.

“Sorry.” I said, retrieving my hand.

“Sorry for what?” he asked, his voice sad.

“Because it’s not fair that I-“

He cut me off. “That you what? Feel the same way?!”

“I didn’t say that.” I said, looking away.

He grabbed the hand that I took back. “You’re lying. I can see it in your eyes.”

I tried to grab the hand back, pulling him with it. “Let go, Romano.”

“No. Not until you tell me.”

I yanked harder, hurtling his whole body forward. He collided into me hard enough that I lost my balance. We both tumbled to the ground, our arms flailing. As fate would have it, he landed right on top of me. I sat up, resting my body on my hands. He didn’t move, just sat there with his head on my chest. He gripped tightly onto my shirt, almost like a child who didn’t want to get lost from its parent.

“I can’t tell you, Romano.” I said, my voice grim.

“Why not?!” he demanded, clutching onto my shirt.

“Because I’m dying.”

He let go, my words sinking deep into his soul, reminding him. “I know but that doesn’t mean-“

“You have a long life to live, Romano. I don’t want to weigh you down with whatever life I have left. I know how much of a burden I am to you already. If I die after being your lover, it’ll crush you.”

He looked into my eyes, his eyes full of tears. I had made him cry like this. I was the only one who could ever do that and it hurt me every time to know how much hurt I was causing him. I felt horrible.

“I already love you, Spain. It’ll hurt me regardless of what you do. I want to be with you as much as I can before you die. Don’t you get it?!” he explained, letting a few tears fall to the ground.

“Romano, I don’t want to hurt you.” I said, wrapping my arms around him.

“It’ll only hurt me more if you don’t tell the truth.”

He pushed me away from him, staring deeply into my eyes. He was demanding an answer from me; an answer I always wanted to give but was afraid. If it would really hurt him more I had no choice but to tell the truth to him. I took in a breath, studying his face. He was in a daze, anticipation causing him to shake. He was afraid of what I would say.

“The truth is that I-“

My sentence was interrupted by a loud noise ringing in my ears. My cell phone blared in my pocket. I cursed under my breath, using one of my hands to slip the phone into my hands. My boss was on the other line, the ringer buzzing and buzzing. Sighing I hit the answer button, keeping my gaze away from Romano.

“What the hell were you doing?! I’ve been trying to call you for days now!” my boss yelled into my ear.

“Sorry I was busy. What is it?” I asked, curious.

“Well I’ve got pounding requests for you to join your Trio again. They seem pretty sound on keeping you a part of their loop, regardless.”

“I’m not doing it. I’ve already got enough stuff to worry about. It’s not something I want to relive.”

“If you’re sure. Anyways, how are the fields coming along?”

“Just fine, I’ll have everything packed in the next few days.”

“Good, good. Keep up the good work.”

“Sure.”

The call ended, leaving me to get back to what I was going to say to Romano. He was waiting for me, anxiously twiddling his fingers. I was about to get up but he stopped my movement with the grabbing of my hand.

“I’m not giving up on you. Ever.” Romano said, shocking even me.

“I never would dream of giving up on you, Romano.” I said, intertwining our fingers.

He blushed, “That means you-“

“Yeah, I guess I fell in love with you too.”