TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter depicts suggested aftermath of SA (sexual assault) as well as a panic attack. (This is during Mu's POV, Yuki's and Ame's POV sections do not contain this material)
Mu
3 and a half years ago
"Where's Ame?"
Kenji and I weren't planning to be here. Ame, her, and I were supposed to go to the arcade. Ame's been doing so well with therapy, he's starting to laugh more, smile more. He talks to new people like a natural. He finds joy in things aside from his indoor forest and of course my absolutely thrilling friendship. He still has to take medication. But I've remedied that. A gumball machine makes everything better when it adds a little color to the room. (To be clear we are not going to the same arcade I stole it from, there's a picture of me with big fat red "BANNED" letters at the bottom on the door of that place).
"He wanted to come to this shindig because a girl from school invited him, right?" I say, walking through the house with Kenji.
"I don't like this place," She says, coming closer to me. "All the kids are so much older. We should've brought Yuki-san."
Yuki's barely out of middle school. With her first year at UA, she's quite the busy bee, always buzzing around, training, studying, repeating. It's exhausting to watch. We're, sadly, still confined to the chains of pre-high school hell, Kenji, Ame, and I. We've been handling it fairly well (I've only been almost beat up three times this year).
Kenji and I go up the stairs, gentle music thrumming through the entire house. This is technically a high school party. Most of the people here are Yuki's age or higher. But Ame was insistent. Never seen my son so eager to step foot in a social gathering before.
"Our Ame's infatuated," I sigh. "Though he still didn't tell me who this girl is. I wonder where they headed off to."
"Why's it so cold in here?" Kenji shivers, rubbing her arms up and down. My sun gets cold so easily. Removing my jacket, I lay it gently on her shoulders, kissing her head. "Oh, Mushi, keep that on-"
"My darling, you know I'll always keep you warm," I insist. Silly sun. How dare she defy me. "Now where is our son? I thought I saw him come up here."
"Mushi," Kenji grabs me by the shirt sleeve, stopping at the door part ways open. It creaks when we near the floorboards at the entrance.
A pair of lungs doesn't breathe in that room. It sounds like they're trying but can't come up for air. I open the door as wide as I can, worry stirring in the act.
A bed sits at the center of the room, the sheets and comforter still on, only disturbed by ruffling near the foot. The room is dark, lights off, undisturbed except for a lamp broken on the ground, the dresser that used to be its home slightly askew, like someone knocked into it. And on the floor, hiding, Ame drowns in his own cries.
"Ame?"
"Ame, what happened, are you okay?" Kenji practically runs to him, skidding to her knees.
The moment her hands reach out and try to hold Ame, he flinches hard, practically bangs his head against the wall, a pained sob leaving his throat. Kenji stays away after that, her expression turned to stone in surprise. Ame never hides from Kenji. Not when he's sad, not when she is. Not when she practically jumps on his back and laughter and space are all they share.
Ame's shoulder blades scrape against the wall, his legs folding to his torso, his hands shivering, chest rising and falling fast and deep.
His hair fails to hide his eyes, a sea of white hiding terrified pupils that tremble even staring at the ground. His neck is wet, like someone's been kissing it. His lips are swollen. His shirt isn't quite right. The top button of his pants has been undone.
