atonement of loneliness

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Tenko

My life has been like clockwork since I faked my death. Tomura Shigaraki had begun as a child that never had the chance to grow within a man's body. I was immature to the core, never taken to school, never socialized with anyone but my master and the corpse he made into a caretaker. There are nights I lay awake and cry thinking of Kurogiri. There are nights I lay awake crying over the deaths of all those I lost. Sometimes, I even missed my master. I missed the man he pretended to be.

Deku and I were locked in a battle of the fated. All for One against One for All. All for One never truly died. His power lives on in the air, the influence of what he created is left behind. My body which has been destroyed and rebuilt countless times carries a shred of him still within. Its name is Atomic.

Tenko, he calls me, because that is who I was when he found me. I have very little memory of who I was before my sister and I were taken by All for One. There are brief moments– A baby smiling up at me, missing a few teeth, black-haired with beautiful eyes like jewels on her cheeks. Two girls playing with me in a yard. A dog chasing a tennis ball under the sun. It fades in and out. I don't travel to the past any more than I can help it.

After the war, Deku and I came to an agreement. Him, the heroes involved, and my sister. I was the one who killed All for One. I ended his life. I let Deku stop my heart with One for All. When it did, All for One could no longer use a lifeless vessel and he vanished. Atomic was still within me. He still existed in my basest consciousness, a light that brought me back as I had once used his destructive side to save my sister.

After that, I had to not exist. Yin promised to help me, but I wouldn't let her. It was better that we never see each other. Bakugo could never forgive me for what happened, for the lives I took even when Sensei wasn't controlling me. She insisted that we keep in contact. To this day, twenty-five years later, we send each other letters once a week. I keep every single one.

Setting up a life for myself wasn't exactly simple. I went back to the old bar in the Northern Sector the league used to use as a hideout. It was rebuilt after the heroes raided it by a beer company. It was foreclosed. Not much business in a place so poor. Heroes don't patrol here. There are no villains here. Not villains that are combatable in any case.

The first few years, I spent inside, trying to hide. The name Tomura Shigaraki was still too fresh in the air. Getting recognized meant getting killed. I dyed my hair, cut it a little shorter, wore a mask on my face when I went out. I got to know people that lived in these streets. Many were quirkless. Many were unable to get jobs. Many were criminals who'd just gotten out of prison and didn't know where to go from there. I helped out as much as I could. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was that I didn't have anything better to do.

Whenever my neighbors needed help, if it was for moving things, needing an extra hand, anything, me and Atomic's strength would help. That was a way to pass the time during the day. At night, I reverted back to my old ways and broke some rules. I never killed anyone. I promised I wouldn't. Instead, Atomic and I served a little trouble to those who brought trouble to the Slums.

There was scum all over the place trying to take advantage of the weak and partake in violence. I was never going to be able to eradicate that, not on my own at least.

Drugs were a big problem I focused on. The ruiner of worlds in a needle prick. One dose could end a life and crush so many others. Many of the dealers worked for national smuggling operations. Meant they were under the thumbs of bigger fish. I didn't hurt any of those kids. All I did was take what they were selling and tell them sternly enough that if they didn't stop selling or using that I'd get involved. Many didn't have a home or a family. I bought them bus tickets and sent them to my sister's agency in the city. She's not a hero. She just helps kids find homes, gives them someone to talk to, quirk therapy for those who need it.

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