(The writing is juvenile in the first part of this chapter but keep in mind a four-year-old is narrating)
(Also chapter titled: INTENT, is very important to understand this chapter if you didn't read it)
Kaido
13 years ago
Dad is mad today. He works during the mornings and afternoons. There are some nights he doesn't come home either. I sleep on my bed beneath the window although only half my body fits on it now. I curl my knees to my chest, partly for the heat, partly for protection. Dad always says the easiest place to slip a knife is between the ribs.
Dad hasn't been home for two days now. I'm hungry. I'm not allowed in the kitchen without permission. The last time I ate without him, he hung me out the window and said he'd drop me the next time he found me doing something I wasn't supposed to. I'm afraid of so much, but falling is what scares me the most. No one is going to help me backup if dad leaves me.
My mommy's dead. I don't know her name. I think I told you that already, but sometimes I forget. Dad says it's important I remember I'm the reason she's dead.
I'm hungry. So so hungry. My stomach makes noise. I have a bruise on my hip right next to it that aches, so I can't lay on it. Three nights ago, dad sent me outside with my knife. I hid in a big trashcan for most of it. A group of monsters found me though. They said I'd make good target practice. I managed to run away. One of them grabbed me and pushed me to the ground. He held me by the head and by my hip and laughed when I struggled. I don't know what his words meant, but I knew he wanted to hurt me. I relaxed, tried to find the fire inside me like dad says to do. When I couldn't find it, I spun the knife in my hand and stabbed the man in the wrist. He screamed and screamed till I ran so far I couldn't hear him. When I came home that night, his blood stained my shirt. Dad saw and smiled. He kissed my forehead and told me I was good. Then he said my hair was getting too long, that I'd get blood in it so he cut it again.
He let me sleep on the floor in his room instead of under the window. I cried. I didn't make any noise but my tears wouldn't stop falling. Dad hates when I cry. I kept thinking of the man holding me down and how no matter how hard I fought the only thing that could get him off me wasn't me at all, but a blade. Sleeping in the shadow of my dad's bed, I held it in both my fists and wondered if I'd ever be able to let it go.
I'm hungry now. So so hungry. It's all I can think about. An empty stomach becomes a brain if you starve it long enough.
Dad comes home an hour later. He kneels next to my window and tells me to sit up. He pets my hair and my face and tells me I'm a good boy for waiting. Then he unwraps a bread roll, says it's the sweet kind. I eat it so fast, he smiles, his chest shaking slightly. I like it when dad smiles. I like when he's happy.
Once I'm done eating he asks if I still have my knife. I nod and show him that it's tucked in my waistband. He pats my head again and hugs me. He doesn't hug me often. I like it when he hugs me. He says I can go outside tonight, but that I don't have to. Whenever dad says that he doesn't mean it. He wants me to go. So I can practice and get my quirk and be good. If I'm good, we'll get to be a family, he says. I have to be good.
He gives me two more bread rolls. They pull at the skin in my cheeks from the mouthfuls I take, the sugar melting on my tongue. It's so good and I eat so fast that my stomach hurts. Dad tells me to slow down and pace myself. Then, he picks me up and takes me to his room. I ask where he was. He says he was working. I nod and hug him back, just to feel him. He's warm and smells like cigarettes.
I tell dad I'll go outside. He tells me to wait till the dark so I can save my strength. I nod and sit on the floor by his bed while he pets my hair and turns on the tv. I never get to watch tv, only listen through the walls. I like it when the people in the tv talk about the sun and the rain and the wind to come. I've never really seen the sun since I'm not allowed outside during the day. I know that it's bright and warm. I want to reach into the sky and grab it if I ever get the chance to feel it for myself.
