lost cause || B.E

optimist

savannah's POV :

"good morning my beautiful fiancée." i whisper in billie's ear to wake her up, "well it's 4 PM but good morning!" she slowly opened her eyes and rubbed them until they focused on me. "hi pretty." she replied as she sat up.

she grabbed my hand and started to rub my ring. "damn this ring is fire who got it for you?" she asked with a sarcastic smile.

"the love of my life gave it to me last night." i replied while kissing her cheek. "ew brush your teeth stinky." she gagged. i looked at her offended. "you're an ass." i laughed, "no breakfast for you" she pouted her lips.

"oh hey guess what!" she said turning her pout into a cheesy smile. "hmm?" "i'm recording a song today with finn when i go over to get my stuff." she exclaimed. "oohh which one?" i asked.

"six feet under." she said quietly. i sat back on the couch and started fiddling with my hair. "have i heard that one?" i asked. she shook her head. she seemed kind of off.

"well what's it about?" i asked trying to plow information out of her. "you." she said. i was expecting her to smile but she didn't. "loving someone even though they didn't chose you. and the idea of you being together starts to seem impossible but wanting so bad for everything to work out." she continued.

shit.

"oh." i said, "can you sing me some of it?" she rolled her eyes smiling, "i don't have any of my instruments." "just do it a cappella." i begged, "for me?" she licked her lips and cleared her throat as she got ready to sing. and she sang

they're playin' our sound
layin' us down tonight
and all of these clouds
cryin' us back to life
but you're cold as a knife
six feet under
i can't help but wonder
if our grave was watered by the rain
bloom
bloom
again

"i finished writing this the day i moved out actually." she said after she sang, "i sang it for claudia and she really liked it." i rested my hand on the side of her cheek.

"i love it billie." i confessed, "and i'm so sorry for everything i've put you through. i was so confused about everything and broken and i didn't even know the time of day." billie interrupted, "lovey you don't have to apologize." "yes i do." i said, "i was in such a fragile state of mind and was so hard for me to get used to having a healthy relationship. i didn't feel like i deserved any of it."

she looked so sad. "i never wanted to hurt you. i was just so lost." billie nodded to show me she understood. "i hear you sav, i really do okay?" she asked me. "okay." i whispered. she invited me in for a hug and i reciprocated. "and i promise i will never be mad at you for being confused." she said, "or lost. i'll help you, you'll help me, we'll help each other."

i completely understood what she was saying. "of course." i replied.

-

"i think i wanna dye my hair." billie said as we were in the bathroom getting ready to go to finn's house. "yeah? what color?" i asked. "i kinda wanna do green on the top but then the rest of it black." she replied.
"like an ombré?" "fuck no." she gave a disgusting look. she showed me a picture of a girl with purple roots and the rest of her hair brown.

"that. but lime green and black." she said, "so sick." i nodded, "it's definitely bold but i think you're gonna look awesome." i said while brushing my hair. "let's go tomorrow evening." i suggested, "after class."

billie put down her toothbrush and came close to me. "you sound so proper." she teased in a british accent, "ohh let's go tomorrow evening." she started ticking me. "i'm not even british STAAP!" i laughed.