Ch.1: Shadows

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"She is a child that was forced to grow up." -Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since Jason's torture and death, I kept having nightmares and terrors about it. They started occurring shortly after my unorthodox escape that Kiera orchestrated during a ritual. I couldn't get over the fact that he had died while I got to escape with my life. Still can't move past it on those rainy days. No matter how many sleeping pills or antidepressants I took before going to bed. It broke my heart, knowing that my one best friend and crush was tortured and broken... All because I was too weak, too inexperienced and too afraid to stand up for him and myself. Then, of course, the fact that his tormentor... my former father... The Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker, wasn't properly punished. Believe it or not, I wanted the bastard dead and burning in hell, just as much as everyone else in Gotham.

Besides, that clown was no longer my foster father... not after what he did to my first and only friend... no matter what how much he continues to call himself my father...

But, no matter how much I tried to keep away from the Joker and the other supervillains... No matter how much I tried to accept the harsh reality in front of me... the nightmares never seemed to stop...

Worst of all, the dreams were always the same...

The torture method and monologue that clown used was different each night...

But, the paralyzing, burning pain I felt in my chest... the twisted, fucked up scenario playing out in front of me... the agonizing screams that came from Jason echoing in my skull... it was all the same... always...

This particular night, it was a playback of what happened after I first found Jason, trapped in the asylum by the Joker. My friend was strung up by the wrists with rope from the rafters, head bowed and ankles broken and out of shape. Meanwhile, tears rolled down his cheeks, mixing with the blood from his recent wounds and making the open ones sting. The duct tape over his mouth blocked out most of his screams and whimpers. His Robin suit was practically ruined, stained with his blood and marked with scratches from the crowbar and barbed wire he was tied up in. It was horrible to look at, but I couldn't look away, due to the horror I felt.

My heart panged and throbbed horribly at the sight, causing it to slowly start breaking all over again. My already weakened knees buckled and shook uncontrollably with every step my dream self took. My brown eyes watered and became hazy as salty tears threatened to spill over. I couldn't wake up... I was trapped in this hellhole that my own mind created...

"Ah... that girl... always so headstrong... so resilient... so free-spirited... I see now why she chooses to be good chums with you, my boy. You bring out the fiery, stubborn streak in her. That rebelliousness that all children your age have. A very admirable quality to have, for sure... but only for so long..." The voice of the clown chimed from the shadows before appearing in the dim white light of the room alongside Jason. The Joker's voice was laced with a tone that mocked me as my soul bled out. Bled out with sorrow, regret and rage like nothing I had ever felt before. These nightmares were just salt, seeping deeply into the parts that still haven't healed and creating a near incurable infection.

At this point, the tape on Jason's mouth partially came off before he furrowed his brows and bore his teeth, "That's because she's her own person! She has her own mind, her own heart, everything! No matter how much you try to break her, that's something you can't take away from her!"

"Oh, really now?" The same mocking tone of the Joker cut deeper than any knife or bladed weapon ever could. Only one physical blade had ever left a permanent mark on my body in my life... but it didn't compare to the hurt of knowing what was happening to my best friend in his own prison.

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