Waking Up Sucks (Sometimes)

Forty-four.

He knew he was awake already.

He's fully aware.

Yet, he chickened out.

He's perturbed with his inner turmoil whether to shatter the deafening silence that lingers.

Or act like a dead log.

"I knew you're awake."

"...."

"You keep on fumbling my hand. That's not the norm of someone who's in deep slumber, right?"

His throat constricted for a moment, yet he continued to display the act.

The act of feigning acceptance.

"..why,"

"...why do you have to save me from my own mess?"

"I want to rest."

"I want to escape this exhausting dilemma I'm situated in."

Silence.

A good three minutes have passed.

And yes, he still gave him an upfront.

He was about to speak up when Kana resumed.

"I've always thought of how's and what."

"....."

"How it feels to be in a close proximity with you. How can I get close to you. Like, how your hair tousled yet you're there, standing proud with that handsome face of yours."

He laughed.

And for the first time.

I've heard a broken angel cried.

"Asking myself that, 'How does it feels like to be loved by someone like you?' When in fact, you are out of my reach."

"...."

"But things starts to turn around when you finally noticed me."

"....."

"I've managed to pull a two wall facade, just for you to leave the hell out of me."

"Yet, you still pursue me."

"My mind starts to wonder like, 'Ah, I'm sure he'll only last for a day."

"..."

"Because I've thought, you're just intrigued by my mere presence."

"Yet, for the first time..."

"...."

"My intuitions failed me."

An obsolete incongruous cacophony slid off his tongue.

And I'm not used to it.

"First I've thought like, I've gone mad due to my excessive daydreaming."

"Like, you? Capable of loving someone like me?"

"A certain nobody, named me."

"Afraid to wake up each day.."

"That you'll just disappear."

"The thought of you and I only exist in my realm."

"Because you are the dream, P."

"...."

"The dream that everyone hopes to see."

"Yet you're tangled with a mess, called me."

I nearly jolted when his fingers brushed on my cold cheek.

"I really want to love you. Wholeheartedly."

"...."

"Because it's what you deserve."

"But.."

"..."

"How can a broken heart able to love someone wholeheartedly, when he can't mend his own?"