Ancient Monsters (Chasing Titania #3)

Queen Titania: Learning to Forgive

Xena could sense my discontent. I wasn't masking it at all. I had lost her for a hundred years. This is what we were reduced to.

"So," I crossed my arms. "Where were you?"

"Do you remember who I was looking for?"

"Of course," I sighed. "I was putting part of my soul into some art when we heard rumors of Tentradora. We went to that club to find her."

"I found her," Xena waved her hands. "Surprise."

"That's it then?" I scoffed. "Pledged your love to me, swore to protect me, but instead, you dedicate yourself to a heathen?"

"It wasn't that dramatic," Xena's shoulders bobbed up and down. "She had kissed me. Put me into a trance of some sort. I had no idea about the sex or the banishing. I only became aware when Hyperion and Tiang showed up to rescue me. Titania, my love, I was tampered with. I would have never left you. I am dedicated solely to you."

"But there were others," I felt my eyes tear up. "Now you carry this reputation behind you. You can't escape that. I don't know how to forgive you for that."

"Titania, please," Xena pleaded. "I was foolish. I love you so dearly."

"You left me, Xena," I crossed my arms. "You left me, betrayed my trust, and moved along. How can you say you still love me? All you have done was hurt me."

"Titania," she was on her knees before me. "I was lost. You were the one who saved me. You pulled me from the flames. You set everything right. I was wrong to venture out alone. I am terribly sorry for everything I did. Please. Forgive me."

"One hundred years," I wiped away tears. "One hundred years and the wounds still haven't healed. Forgiveness won't fix stab wounds."

Xena grasped my hands and kissed me. Surprise fanned from me, knocking out the candle lights. She was still as soft and sweet as I had remembered. It was wet, though, because I was crying. I fell back against the mattress under her guidance.

"You're still the same lost Titania I fell for," she grinned in the dark. "Unsure, scared, but leading with a big stick and wisdom."

"I promise my broken heart isn't easily healed," I fought back. "You can try to ease the pain with kisses, but I still can't trust you."

Xena tucked her raven hair back. "Put your body in my hands, and I'll show you that you can trust me to fulfill your needs, Titania. If that's the least I can do, maybe you can find me trustworthy once again."

"It has been an awfully long time," I pretended not to notice her hand traveling up my leg. "No one else has cared for my womanly needs. Nor have I found a proper release for carrying so much weight."

"One hundred years is an awfully long time," she kissed my neck.

"As long as you are gentle," I warned.

"Titania darling, I don't plan to let you go all night," Xena undid my dress. "We shall see if you want it so gently then."

When she got down to my undergarments, I forced myself to relax. If there was anything Xena knew well, it was my body. One thousand years of her companionship, eight hundred of which we spent in love, could only surmount this. She made me wait patiently for release while she stopped at all her favorite spots. My neck, which she kissed and bit at. My breasts, which she caressed and kissed and licked. My waist, which she ran her fingers across until I shivered, she kissed, and she bit at. But when she went down, fingers, first before using her tongue, I lost my head. I grabbed the pillow, silencing myself with its edges. I knew I was in for a long night.

After some time, she lay down next to me. We needed a breather. She reached for a box of her tobacco. I had never thrown it out. No matter how angry I was, I couldn't let those pieces of her go.

"I came here for more than your forgiveness," Xena set her hand on my leg.

"What is it?" I deeply inhaled the smell of her woody tobacco.

"There are bits I can recall from my haze," she spoke through her smoke. "I saw Dorimir. She spoke several times with Serberous. I didn't get a chance to subdue or kill Tentradora."

"So?"

"I need your help," she leaned on my shoulder. "To return to the place I am the most banned from."

I pushed away. "Xena, that's impossible. There is no way you are going back to Seratonium."

"You're the one who banned me," she defended. "You are the only thing keeping me from that desert. I want to kill Tentradora to protect you. I don't want her to come near you, Titania. I didn't even have a moment to fight her before I was under her spell. What would happen if she did so to you?"

"Get out."

"What?"

"Get out of my tent!" I stood. "I can't believe you would ask me such a thing."

"I'm merely trying to protect you!"

"How can I be certain? How do I know you won't use this to blow the whole planet up?"

"Is this because you don't trust me?"

"Xena, it's a stupid plan. Wait for them to come back here."

"I want to protect you. I swear that it is my purpose in this life."

"Get out!" I screeched.

Xena turned stone cold. "Fine," she snuffed the tobacco on my table. "I'm not leaving this camp. You'll have to face this sooner or later."

"Out!"

I heard her shuffle across the lawn. I turned from the door, tears streaming down my face. How could Xena make me break my promise like this? I stole her from that planet, and she wanted to go back.

 Her words echoed in my head. She hadn't even had a moment to fight before Tentradora took her over. She said there was a demon on the surface. Tentradora was there. 

My hands flew into fists. Tentradora stole my girlfriend from me for a hundred years. I would let Xena go after her, but I would kill Tentradora myself. She deserves it for taking what is mine.

I plot out words in my head. I go out of my tent. Xena brings me back into it.

I took her to Evenectine again. It only reminded me of why I fell in love with Xena in the first place. 

But Seratonium would prove to be its own challenge.