Inversion [Camp NaNoWriMo July 2021]

day 22

d a y   2 2

Two days later, we still haven't talked about the kiss. And even though we haven't discussed it, Cian stays over every night, and we keep to our respective sides of the bed.

I can feel the storm brewing though, some undercurrent of tension running between us despite the outward calm. I can see it in the way his gaze slides to me and lingers when he doesn't think I'm watching; and in the way he reaches out, as if to touch me, but pulls back every time.

Finally, after dinner, the storm breaks.

We're just finishing up the dishes, Cian washing and me drying, when he clears his throat.

"Are we ever going to talk about it?"

I bite my lip and focus on drying the last plate, setting it on the dish rack and wiping my hands on a clean hand towel.

"About what?" I ask casually.

I see his expression tighten out of the corner of my eyes. He crosses his arms and leans back against the counter, glaring at me.

"You know what." His voice seems to rumble through the kitchen. "The kiss."

I try to push back the images that spring to mind. His hand on my waist, my chest against his. His tongue sweeping cautiously against my lips and into my mouth, tentative and exploratory.

"You're the one who asked to kiss me," I say slowly.

"I know," he bites out.

"And?"

"And I want to know how you feel about it."

I watch him carefully. "How do you feel about it?"

"Given I asked to kiss you, I thought my feelings were perfectly clear."

I look out the window at the fading light. The streetlights are just flickering on. "I wasn't sure if you regretted it," I admit. I chew on my lip, and his eyes dip at the movement. I stop, flushing.

"I didn't." And when I don't say anything, "Did you?"

"No," I say immediately. But the next words come out in a jumble. "I just wanted to make sure you ... I mean, I didn't want to rush you into anything ..."

Cian's expression becomes even more closed off. I catch the flash of anger in his eyes before he turns away, heading towards the door.

I rush after him. If he walks out now, we might not get a second chance at this conversation. And the thought of that is enough to quash my reservations.

"Wait," I gasp, slipping in front of the door before he can reach for the handle. I raise my hands in the air, but the extra step he takes before registering the fact that I'm in his way brings his chest right up into them. I feel the hammering of his heart but don't retract my hands. He doesn't step back.

"That came out wrong," I say before he can tell me to move. I see the words simmering behind his eyes. "I wasn't trying to imply anything about ... you—your past. I just wanted to make sure that everything between us—whatever is between us—is on your terms. That's all."

Some of the darkness recedes from his face, but he still looks hesitant. His tone is gruff as he says, "I know I don't have much experience. Or any, actually—"

"I don't care." I cut him off. I slide one hand up to his face, and he seems to lean in to my touch. "It makes no difference to me. It's not like I have much more experience anyways." I bite my lip, and this time his gaze stays on my mouth. "Whatever this is ... we can figure it out together."

And then his head dips, more confident than last time, and I lift my face to meet his.

Cian eases me back against the door, one hand at my waist and the other curled around the nape of my neck, angling my head. This kiss is deeper, and our lips move in sync as if we've done this our entire lives. It's my turn to do a little exploring, and a groan slips from his lips as I slide my tongue into his mouth. I curl my fingers, clutching at his shirt as I tilt my head back farther.

Breathing is still strange, though, and I have to pull back far too soon. Cian is just as breathless, face flushed and lips swollen. His eyes are soft as he smiles down at me, a sweet smile that punches me right in the heart. There are no words in my head, so I just lean in and kiss him again.