Capturing You

Chapter 16: Zigs and Zags

     By the end of the week, I hadn't received a response from Joe. I had actually come into the office on Friday to a surprise email from Elena that we would all be getting the next two weeks off, paid, as a brief respite after the hard work we'd put into covering the Super Bowl. As the work day wrapped up on that Friday, I overheard conversations between the custodial staff and some of the ladies from the cafeteria that everyone across the entire headquarters had earned the two-week vacation.

     I hadn't heard from Joe since I last saw him in the tunnel. Back at headquarters for the week, I didn't even see him anywhere at the facility, though after the first few times I went out looking and he wasn't there, I stopped searching. None of the players were around, either, and when I did see a member or two of the coaching staff, I had been too shy to ask about Joe's whereabouts. Admittedly and shamefully I even ransacked social media — or as much of it as I could before I began to feel absolutely grimy — using Trish's sleuthing skills to see if he was somewhere.

     He was nowhere.

     It was none of my business, I reasoned with myself. Joe and I were not official and I wasn't entitled to knowing where he was. I didn't hold anything against him — he lived a much bigger life in a much bigger world than I did — and I justified his absence by reminding myself of that, and the loss he and his team had just suffered. But whichever way I tried to rationalize it in my head — the part of me that I needed to lean on during this time — I still felt this lingering pain in my chest. A closer examination of it would classify it as heartache, I bet, but I didn't let myself roll into that snowball.

     Killing time before the end of my shift, I'd gotten distracted by a video of Joe at a press conference after the Super Bowl. "It stings, but we still have something to celebrate," he said, looking absolutely dejected. But his words eventually faded when another pair of voices grew loud in my ears.

     "I'm just saying, if some guy kissed me and said ya-da ya-da and then all of a sudden disappeared because he's some big baby, I would be upset." I heard these words coming from behind me, likely from a voice who didn't know I was there.

     "You know Avery, she's all logic. Whenever she's upset, she doesn't say so. She — is right there." Spencer panicked when I turned around to face him and Trish.

"Hi, guys," I said, snickering.

"Hi, Avery," they answered in saccharine unison.

"How ya doing, buddy?" Spencer sang, sliding his arm across my shoulder. "Still no word from your man?"

      They knew better than to use Joe's name if they were walking around gossiping about me out loud, and I supposed that was reassuring. Their gossip about me never seemed malevolent, more as two siblings who meddled a little bit more than they should — but that kind of camaraderie filled such a familial void in me that I tolerated it. I welcomed their thoughts most of the time, especially lately. Being so private was exhausting.

      "Nothing," I said, shrugging. "Like I told you guys... I'm not as worried about him responding to me as I'm just worried that he's doing okay." I wanted to add that if he was anything like me, he was likely beating himself up.

"You got that email that we're all taking two weeks off, right?" Trish asked.

"Yeah."

"Why don't you get your mind off that scrub and go home or something?" The way she suggested it sounded more like a demand.

      I chuckled. To see my dad? Well, I'd already had enough of him in the last month — but he had only been coming up to see me in Cincinnati. It had almost been a year since I made it back to Louisiana to see my family.