INVULNERABILITY - 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲́𝗲𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘁

six

charlotte willard

"are you okay?" maddy grabbed my hands, taking off my sunglass for me. my eyes searched hers for a moment, i felt like i couldn't speak. his face was the only thing i could see right now. nothing was making sense, "cherry?" she shook me and i blinked. i nodded, i can't freeze up right now. we are all in the car, everyone staring at me. i'm sure i look pretty frightened right now.

"uh i'm fine." i cracked a small smile, looking at everyone's worried face. "do you just wanna go home?" maddy asked and i shook my head. "i could actually use a drink right now." maddy smiled at me with sympathy. she pulled me into a hug and i patted her back. i felt awkward right now, knowing everyone somehow knew my business with timothée.

timothée is here, in la. i was right in front of him just a moment ago. why was this happening? it almost feels like it wasn't real. he looks good, well taken care of actually. his hair was probably messy under his hat, curls sticking out of the sides. he looked beautiful to put it simply. i missed seeing his face, it almost felt like a breath of fresh air, knowing he is healthy and hopefully happy.

"okay just go to rudy's." maddy said, pulling away from the long hug. i didn't notice chase driving, kind of surprised. maddy sat back, stilling holding one of my hands. i appreciated her being here with me. we have grown very close the last two months, her now being one of my best friends. i feel bad i haven't opened up to her about timothée but somehow she still understands.

i'm not one to be vulnerable, to tell people what's wrong. i usually keep it all inside which is definitely not good for me.

"thank you." i squeezed her hand and she smiled at me. i've never really felt like anyone has understood me, except for now. maddy seems to understand and i don't even have to say anything. "of course." she laid her head on my shoulder, clutching my hand. the music was turned up as we drove through the night.

"hey so did you date harry styles?" rudy spoke up from the front seat. i furrowed my brows, "huh?" i asked hearing a laugh from drew. i didn't even realize i was in the middle seat till now.

"well you know the song cherry." rudy shrugged and i let out a laugh. "i fucking wish rudy." i shook my head as him. "okay we will just pretend then." he flipped through his phone, playing cherry. rudy sang the loudest, reaching back for my hand. i grabbed it, still holding onto maddys hand. he sang to me, being dramatic with his movements.

"i love that man." maddy said and i nodded, "wait is that your celebrity crush?" rudy asked over the music. i nodded and he acted surprised. once upon a time i dated my celebrity crush so maybe i'll date harry next? "not me?" he released my hand with a frown. "rudy stop simping over charlotte." drew spoke up next to me.

"shut up drew." rudy crossed his arms and i smiled at him. "who here has a crush on cherry then? huh?" rudy peered back, being sick of people bringing up me being his celebrity crush. everyone raised their hand as i looked around. "really?" i shook my head with an eye roll.

they put there hands down with a laugh, "see! so i don't wanna hear it." rudy turned back around. "you are so dramatic!" drew said to rudy as we pulled up to his house. "i thought your celebrity crush was ariana grande drew?" maddy smirked at him and he shrugged with a smile. "hey i can have more than one.. and plus she's married." i laughed at that as we parked.

everyone jumped out of the car, running into the house. i think someone mentioned some shots as we walked through the door. "maddy you can let go now." i giggled at her, looking down at our hands.

we walked into the kitchen when she released my hand. rudy had shots ready and i shook my head. "come on cherry!" he yelled as i walked up to the counter. "only one okay?" i cant get plastered two nights in a row. he shrugged with a wink and i rolled my eyes.

everyone held up their shot glasses, "fuck exes and fuck um..." rudy yelled and i wanted to collapse. i couldn't help but laugh at his statement, thinking it was sweet but also hilarious.

"just drink!" maddy yelled and we all cheered. i brought the glass to my lips, quickly downing it. i didn't have a chaser and i regretted that as the burning liquids streamed down my throat.

i held my chest, setting the shot glass down. "here." drew nudged me, a dr pepper in his hand. i grabbed it, taking a long sip. "thanks." i handed it back to him and he smiled at me. "don't judge me i'm trying." i said and he held his hands up in defense.

i walked away, sitting on the couch. today has felt so long, making me feel exhausted. seeing timothée kind of shocked my system. everything was so unexpected and uncomfortable for me.

"here." maddys voice made me look up. she had two glasses of wine, one being handed to me. i grabbed it, "thank you." she smiled at me, sitting down. i took a sip, glad for something that doesn't burn going down.

"how are you?" she asked, eyeing me and i shrugged. "not the greatest but i'm okay." i wanted to be honest with her. i wanted her to know because i truly feel like i could trust her and i want her to feel the same. "seeing him was just um... really surprising." she nodded slowly, showing me she was listening and just letting me talk.

"you know it's weird because he's usually never in la... but i mean it's been two months since i've spoken to him. the breakup was rough and i told myself i never wanted to see him again so seeing him tonight.. um." i stopped myself, not wanting to say what i was about to say.

"you still love him." she said it for me and i looked at her. "yeah i guess i do." i muttered, wishing that somehow all the feeling for him has faded. "i think about him everyday you know.. and even talking about him is hard for me because of how fast things ended.. it was so unexpected." i played with my waist band, needing to distract myself.

"do you think you'll get back together?" she asked and i shrugged. i took another sip of my wine. a part of me wishes we would but another part of me is thinking about the things he said and did. the kiss with ava felt more intamit to me. i was still so hurt by everything, i couldn't just forget it.

"i don't know.. i can't just forget what he did to me." she furrowed her brows when i looked at her. "he um kissed someone." her eyes widened and i nodded. "what the fuck." she mumbled with a head shake. when timothée told me that for the first time i felt like i was overreacting, now seeing how shocked she was made me know that i wasn't.

what he did wasn't okay and that would really be the thing that makes me never want to get back together with him. i don't know if i could trust him again after that.

"what the fuck what?" drew and chase sat down, drew next to me. i blinked, seeing chase sit next to maddy. she smiled at him, turning back to me. "none of your business, girl talk." she smirked and the boys groaned. drew threw his head back dramatically, "i want in on the girl talk." he wined and chase nodded eagerly.

"we're talking about exes." i eyed chase and he slowly turned away. "but i'm assuming you're a good one if she even wants to be around you." i spoke and chase smiled, cheeks blushing a bit. i couldn't imagine just casually hanging out with timothée right now.

"yeah i mean i'm pretty great." he flipped his hair dramatically. maddy laughed, holding her glass to her lips.

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