INVULNERABILITY - 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲́𝗲𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘁

eight

charlotte willard

i stared at the long silk dress, eyeing the mirror and tilting my head. a few stylist stood behind me, their eyebrows furrowed. my hands fluttered down the dress and i licked my lips. "you know i like it of course but it seems a bit to simple." maddie said, walking to stand in front of the mirrors. i nodded, "i agree but i don't want something to bold." i stepped off the platform.

"okay no problem, let me grab another dress." one of the stylists said. she disappeared from the room and i gave maddie a small smile. truthfully i don't feel confident at all right now. my emotions just feel off and i would rather be laying in bed— not trying on dresses for the euphoria premier.

"are you excited?" maddy asked, sitting next to me on the small couch i hurried over to. i shrugged, not really feeling anything right now. "i will be." she looked at me, sadness in her eyes.

"why does my body feel like it's in shock since i've seen him?" i mumbled, kind of surprised that i even said that. it was the truth, it felt like my body was shutting down.

"because you are in shock, you haven't seen him in so long." she looked at me, worry in her eyes.

"flash backs of the last time we spoke.. i just.." i tried to find the words, to open up but i couldn't. i was never good at this, being vulnerable.

"i just wish i could feel nothing." i whispered, looking down at my hands. "getting over someone you love feels impossible, i know it and maybe you never do. maybe just one day you get used to the feeling." maddie grabbed my hands, making me look up.

"i don't want to." i shook my head, my mind was only flashing back to the good moments and that's why it hurt so much. willing it to stop wasn't enough.

"i know cherry..." she frowned, pulling me into a tight hug. i felt like i wanted to collapse into her arms, to shut my eyes and fall asleep while someone was holding me. i took a deep breath, trying to relax my body.

"okay so i have a few options here." the stylist came back with her hands full of dresses. i pulled away, standing up to take a look at the fabric.

my fingers traced the length of the gowns, eyes tracing each pattern. one felt rough, like leather, it's dark brown color made me draw my hand away immediately.

"okay no you're not getting rid of this!" timothée held up an old brown leather jacket. he eyed in amazement, running his slender fingers down the sleeves. my head turned up from my position on the floor. "uh yes put it in the donate pile." he frowned at me immediately, holding the jacket to his chest now.

"no fucking way, i'm not letting you get rid of this beautiful work of art." he said it so seriously i couldn't help but smile.

"i never wear that thing." i laughed, seeing him grow attached to it. "stand up, you're trying it on." i rolled my eyes, standing up.

i held my arms out so he could put the jacket on me. i slid into the sleeves, feeling the cold leather on my bare arms.

he grabbed my hips gently, turning me towards my mirror. "come on!" he said excitedly, eyeing me in the leather. "what no." i shook my head, turning around to face him. he shook his head, grabbing my hand and backing up to get a full look.

"you look hot." he smirked and i dropped my hand from his with an eye roll. "i'm in sweat pants and a leather jacket, that's not hot." i was about to tug off the jacket, ready to throw it in the donate pile on my bed when he grabbed my hand again.

i watched him tower over me, biting his bottom lip.

"keep it for me?" his hand tugged at the jacket, making me stumbled forward. my heart instantly picked up a beat, my face going red. i tilted my head, quickly tugging off the jacket. "fine."  he perked up, taking the jacket and holding it out.

"i'm claiming it though, so you'll always know i made you keep it." he searched my room and i shook my head with a laugh. i kept digging through my closet as he shuffled around my room.

"there." he said and i turned to see him showing me the tag on the jacket. 'T.C <3' was written on the tag, making me roll my eyes. "i guess now i love it."

"we don't have to do that one." maddies voice snapped me out of my thoughts. my hand was still stuck on the dress, making me pull away. i watched the stylist quickly set it down, i'm sure i looked insane.

"let's try this black one." maddy grabbed my hand that was frozen over the air, tugging me to the side. i blinked, finally looking at her. "cherry we don't-" i shook my head, pulling away from her. "no it's fine i'm fine i just wanna get this over with." she nodded at me, carefully examining me.

"i'm fine."

"this is beautiful." the stylist handed me the dress, watching me take it from her hands. it was black with a big open black. i noticed that when it hit the light it turned a deep green. the stylist left me alone to change and i turned to maddie. "i think this is the one." i put on a smile, spinning around so she could unzip the silk dress.

"don't do that." she mumbled, quickly unzipping the dress. i did a small shake, slipping out of it. "what?" i said, tossing the dress to the side. she shook her head, "giving me that fake smile, which i know it's fake because you smile with your eyes and your eyes look dead." i raised my eyebrows at her and she smiled, "it's kind of creepy." she laughed and i let out a giggle.

i gave her a deep stare and she backed up, "stop." i laughed, seeing her hands up. "put the damn dress on." maddie shook her head with laugh as i stepped into it.

"thank you by the way, for being here." i got serious, seeing her smile at me. "always." she clasped the dress for me, smoothing it out before turning towards the murrow.

"holy fuck." she gasped and i jumped, "what?" it was horrible wasn't it.

"you look-" she spun me towards the mirror. my eyes traveled, following my body in the dress. it hugged me in all the right places. i turned slightly, seeing a little bit of the back.

"how does the back even look hot?" maddie said and i smiled. i felt good in this dress, i felt hot in this dress. the bare back with the v-line down my breast. "you look beautiful..." the stylist appeared. she came over, eyeing the dress more intently.

i nodded eagerly, "yep this is the one." maddy jumped, hands reaching out for me. "sorry i just wanna touch you, you look like art."