Healing, Magic, And Unexpected Adventures

Chapter Fourteen - I Think It's Getting Better

I woke up screaming.

A dream. It was just a dream.

Someone was shaking me.

It was just a dream.

People were yelling things.

It was a dream, I promise.

Everything was very confusing, and I was still screaming, even though it was a dream.

Because it wasn't just a dream, was it?

I stopped screaming, because screaming wasn't professional. Somewhere in the back of my mind came the thought that I had to be professional. I was a healer, after all. I was the patient, too.

Breath, Bouvardia, I told myself.

Calm down, Bouvardia.

Don't panic, Bouvardia.

Just a dream, Bouvardia.

I was still breathing heavily, though, because you can't control yourself when you just had a nightmare like the nightmare I just had.

'What in Mahal's name was that?'

I looked up at Dwalin, who looked down at me. He was stood like he was expecting an attack.

Now that I was noticing things again, everyone looked ready to fight, with their weapons in their hands, some of them still partially tangled in blankets. Winston's fur was raised as he looked at me in confusion.

'Sorry,' I said lamely. 'Nightmare.'

'Lass, I've had nightmares,' Dwalin said. 'Ain't none of them got me like that.'

'This one was...'

I trailed off. This one was terrifying. I was shivering and crying and broken in two. The image of the man was still fresh in my mind.

'Bouvardia?'

Oh, no, now Uncle Bilbo was looking at me kindly and if I wasn't broken before I sure was now. I leaned forward until my forehead was on my knees, sobbing openly because now they would know, wouldn't they? The truth would come out and they wouldn't know what to do or say and Mirkwood isn't exactly the place for telling people your trauma.

Uncle Bilbo knelt down next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me to his chest.

'It was him.'

'He's not here,' Uncle Bilbo assured me. 'I would never let him go near you.'

I sobbed.

'You died.'

'We're all here, we're alright.'

I wanted the others to stop staring at me. I wanted to become invisible. I wanted to stop getting nightmares. I wanted a lot of things.

'Who's "him"?' Nori asked.

Uncle Bilbo looked at me.

'You don't have to tell them now,' he said.

'But I do though, don't I?'

Uncle Bilbo gave me a grim smile and let me shrug him off. I wrapped my blanket further around my shoulders.

'First of all, can you all sit down? It's making me uncomfortable.'

They sat, some with hesitation. I took a deep breath before beginning.

'So, uncle's not actually my biological uncle,' I said. A few of them frowned, but nobody interrupted me. 'My parents were out of the picture for as long as I can remember. I never knew them or what happened to them. Didn't even get a name.