Finding Katie

Chapter 29

Ben

"Morning, Ben. How was your weekend?"

I glanced up at the cheerful greeting, but only for a second before I looked back at my computer screen. Liam was crossing the floor of my office with a stack of papers resting on one arm and a cup of coffee in the other hand, but I didn't have the mental energy for other people right now. Not even a friend.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

I shrugged. "It was good."

"The wedding or the weekend?" My apprentice fell into the chair on the other side of the desk, studying me with laughing eyes.

When I didn't reply, he added, "It must have been one hell of a party. Or the champagne excellent and plentiful."

"Thanks," I replied flatly without shifting my gaze from the screen or my fingers from the keyboard. If I kept them there, I might not start throwing things against the wall. If I looked busy, Liam might stop asking me about my weekend. I didn't want to talk about the weekend. My thoughts already strayed to the night before far too often.

For the last twelve hours, my mind had continually insisted on dragging me back to my terrace, on replaying every word and every movement over and over again.

I'd barely slept. Two hours before my alarm was set to go off this morning, I'd given up and gone to the gym on the first floor of my building, but not even running twice the distance that I usually did, or double the numbers of push-ups, had been able to turn my thoughts.

I knew I looked like hell despite taking meticulous care when I'd dressed, in my favourite suit and tie, and my shoes polished to a gleam. Focusing unequivocally on my morning routine was the only thing that had made it possible for me to arrive at work on time and at least looking somewhat put together.

Otherwise I'd still have been lying in my bed, clutching at the empty space beside me until I realized what I was doing and abruptly jerking my hand back, then staring up at the ceiling with my thoughts going round in circles.

Circles around Katie.

Or whoever the hell she was.

Refusing to go there, I focused on Liam again and added, "And no, I'm not hungover."

Staring at me, Liam's smile fell and a deep groove appeared between his eyebrows. "What's happened?"

"Nothing."

"Ben," my friend chided, gesturing me up and down, "I've never seen you look like this. You look like shit. You look like me in the old days. If you're not hungover, something's clearly wrong."

Eyes closed, my fingers stilled over the keyboard. No matter how perfectly starched my shirt was or how sublime a knot my tie was folded into, I couldn't seem to do anything about the lines on my forehead or the dark bags under my eyes. Or the way my hands insisted on curling into fists whenever they were still.

I hadn't punched anything, but only because there hadn't been a boxing bag in the gym.

I couldn't help it. When Victoria had betrayed me, I'd thought that was pain, that I'd been angry at her, but that had been but a tic compared to the all-encompassing infuriation at Katie that was pervading every inch of me right now.

Victoria had been bored and chosen the stupidest possible way to get a bit of excitement into her life, but Katie had used me. She and Dave had lied and deceived and manipulated me.

Because of a fucking job!

Running my hands down over my face, I fell back in my chair and swallowed down the growl that rose in my throat. I hadn't yet decided what I was going to do about Dave and his scheme. I needed a clearer head than I had right now to make that decision. And if I was to be completely honest, the infuriation was just as much directed at myself. And it was just as much frustration as it was anger.