Rock Bottom:Breaking Ground

Oh, To Turn Back the Clock

I know Tess thought it was weird me calling out of nowhere for names. This is something I can't hide from them. Normally I would let the Archer stuff lie and let them process it at their own rate. I can't do that this time. Producing the papers with names. "This is about the conversation the other night." Tracy remembers it. I should never have doubted myself. Telling them means do,y friendship with Tyler isn't anymore. He was the one person who didn't know everything about me, who I could give he information to with out it having been twisted and turned.

It's also made me think, I need to tell a Jaime. She's a teenager but it's better she hear it from me and Jordan than hear it through another source. How she looks different from her brothers, they are all in school now. Or hears an adult compare her to Jordan. Choosing to do this before bed, when the boys are asleep, there is hardly a time when they are not around. I'm not going to count on her remembering the last time he was here. She was so young. Sitting her on the couch with me and Jordan.

"When you were a little girl, there had been a man who would come around here. His name was Ryan." Leading her there. "It was a long time ago. He is also your father." Trying to do this as gently as I can. Her head jerking toward me. "What?" She's having trouble understanding. I know this is coming out of nowhere. "He is a Jordan's brother." We have always addressed him as dad. To hear his proper name has to be throwing her a little. "Wait so you slept with some random guy who wasn't so random at all. And Jordan, dad, whatever wasn't good enough for you to sleep with so you decided to hop in bed with his brother?" She's almost screaming. I don't want her to wake the boys.

"You don't talk to your mother like that. Me and your mother were together before that." She's appalled at the situation and me. "So you let her sleep with this guy and you were what, pretending it didn't happen or decided it's ok to have her bed hop with any guy in town." And like her father she has a short temper. "I told you, you don't talk to your mother like that. When she had you everything changed between them. He's putting it nicely. "Yeah, she's damaged goods and he didn't want her anymore." I feel like crying. "Jaime." He's scolding her. She upstairs, in her room but I'm not hearing her door.

I have prepared myself as mush as I can, he look on her face. She has said things I expected and things I haven't. Just short of calling me a slut. I don't blame her. I was basically a kid when I had her and I had no business being with Ryan. Jordan was so forgiving and loving her like his own. She's hurting, disappointed, angry. Coming down the stairs, Jaime has her jacket and shoes on. "Where are you going?" Walking past us and to the door. "Out." She shouts. It's a miracle the boys haven't woken up from the noise.

Deciding to give it a couple of minutes before pressing the green button. With any hope, their asleep and Jaime is on her way home. "Hello." She sounds tired. "Is jaime over there?" It's he only place I can think of to call. "Yeah, she's here." It's a huge relief. Tracy knows by now what happened over here. Her and a Jaime have always been close. Seeking refuge at Tracy's means it's still true. "I'll bring her over in the morning." I'm grateful as I hang up. I know there are protests from a Jaime on this point and Tracy will hold firm on it. I'm not going over there to grab her, Tracy knows I won't.

Getting coffee started and there's a knock at the door. Not having to stand too long before Jaime comes barreling through and heading upstairs. Going where we can't get to her. She doesn't want to be here. No shortage of door slamming as she gets there. Letting the gang at the diner know what happened. Tracy coming over, I know she is surprised at the revelation, not knowing when it would happen just that it would. Tracy had convinced Jaime to come down. The last couple of days she hasn't spoken to any of us.

"I cared about Ryan. It wasn't Li after you were born thing changed. He was convinced since we were your parents, we could be more. I told him it's all we would ever be is your mom and dad. He had gone to treatment and he was good. But it didn't last." Tracy is agreeing with me. "Archer tried to have mom killed. The one good thing Ryan did was stop it." She's right. "I regret that night but I can't regret the one good thing coming out of it. You. Ryan was always looking for Archers approval. Jordan has been a father to you. When Ryan stopped showing up he stepped in. He couldn't love you anymore than he already does." I think she is listening.