George, a transgender man, begins writing in a journal to stave off loneliness as he tries to survive in the zombie apocalypse. After he finds a stash of food, his paranoia only makes his loneliness more intense. When he runs into strangers he taunt...
Who knew that sardines in a can could taste so good? I certainly didn't. Sardines got a bad rap. They are delicious. Legitimately fucking delicious and I wish I had eaten them before all this went down.
I know: I'm in a cabin with comforts I've only been able to dream about for months, and it's the canned sardines that I'm fawning over. It's ridiculous. But as soon as I heard the tin tearing open, with just the right pop, a drop of the oil spitting forward to stain my cuff, my stomach let out the loudest grumble. Like it knew what was coming. A dog wagging its frenzied tail at the sound of scooping kibble.
The silvery scaled body of the sardine awoke some carnivorous reptile-part of my brain. I literally shuttered with delight as the salty umami of the fish danced across my tastebuds, exciting them. Arousing them. The smooth oil coating my lips, my teeth, my gums. When the last fish was gone I licked the can clean, lucky I didn't cut my tongue!
After eating the can I felt full for the first time in a loooooooong time.
More than full. I felt satisfied. Nourished.
Hunger has become my friend out here on the road. As reliable as my shadow on a sunny day. Sometimes my breath stinks with starvation, like my insides are digesting themselves. My gums feel raw, my heart beats are slow and stuttering. Honestly, the zombies are the least of my problems. I'll probably perish from scurvy or some other vitamin deficiency-induced disease that I've only ever read about in books.
The incredibly thin silver lining to nearly starving to death is that at least my fucking period never started back up, even after months and months of going without my testosterone prescription. At least there is one positive effect of all the stress of living during the apocalypse. (Why the fuck didn't I get a hysterectomy back when it was a possibility?)
There are so many things I never had to think about before. Vitamins are just one example. Like, my biggest worry used to be what I was eating too much of. Too many refined sugars. Too much trans fat. Too many artificial flavors. But even if all I did was eat shit processed foods, everything was enriched. And, feeling a sniffle coming on? Feeling low energy? Pop a multivitamin. No problem.
Jesus. The things that used to occupy my mind.
This cabin, though. I slept in a bed last night. A firm mattress with sheets that I found clean in a linen closet. I changed my outfit. Even found shoes that are a close fit. There are books on the shelves that I've never read and a complete deck of cards for solitaire. The only comforts lacking are running water and lights at night. I think the toilet would even flush if you manually filled the tank. Shitting on the comfort of a porcelain throne? That's a luxury that would make my head explode.
I'll explore more outside once I take care of Jack and Jill. They're circling the house, scratching at the windows and banging at the door. Now that I've rested and my stomach is full, my next job will be securing the perimeter.
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