Heart Of A Saint, Life Of A Sinner

Chapter Twenty Four

Issac's POV:

"You ever think the world just likes to punish people for no reason?" "Like karma?" "Not exactly" I sighed leaning my head back feeling every fiber of my being unwind. Hayden found me practically limping to class, my lack of sleep mixed with the fact that I didn't eat anything all morning as well as my overwhelming stress had caused me to throw up "You really should take it easy" "I know but, I can't go home now; my parents haven't left home now so if I come home sick after they argument we had this morning I'd be sure in for a lecture which anyone but, me needs right now" I said running a hand through my locks feeling how humid they were from the sweat and water I had on my face.

"I'd gladly take you in but, I have a shift at the restaurant tonight so I'm fully booked; sorry" I shook my head rubbing Hayden's arm "You've done enough; I hope I wasn't that heavy to carry to the infirmary?" "Not at all; you're very light" "I uh skip meals a lot" "I can tell; I'll be sure to report that to Austin"

My ears peaked at the mention of his name "Why?" How is Austin linked to me in conversation "Well because he is your closest friend come on; everyone knows you guys are two or something, what was it 'farm boy and church body?" I sighed at the mention of that "Don't mention that please" I said rubbing my eyes.

We stayed quiet trying to figure out what to do after I've completed resting, the silence lasted longer than we expected the bell had rung twice before we realized it was getting later and we still had no plan '"Aren't you upset you'll miss a class?" he shook his head holding up his phone "I already notified my teachers that I'm taking care of a student for the time being" I nodded my head understanding had everything is under control.

I sighed as I leaned my head further into the pillow I rested my head on, I glanced at Hayden to see him off his phone and now searching for something in his bag "what are you looking for?" Hayden didn't respond instead he continued to search. I figured at this point he might be really upset with me and it started to get with him.

I'm a student who can't even keep their life stable how pathetic, I can't blame everything that has been going on at Yashiro or Austin or even my parents. This was my life and I have to take full responsibility.

My thoughts were cut off when Hayden finally stood but, with a smaller bag in his hand "I gotta run quick, I'll be back though. In the meantime I want to see this bag empty by the time I get back here" I raised an eyebrow confused at him as he handed me the said bag "I've got my eye on you" he said as he pointed to my eyes then his back to mine and finally his closing the door behind him.

I laughed at his childish demeanor it reminded me of Austin greatly, in some way I missed hanging out with him. Everything felt fine and peaceful when I was with him but; ever since I came back nothing has been the same.

Memories of us flashed in my head of us being together almost every day, how he would sometime misbehave in church or how he would show off at his farm. But now, he has a girlfriend who he'll take to church and show off his muscles to when doing farm work.

That thought did feel painful as if there was this lump in my heart, this indescribable pain, it's been years since I liked anyone it's been years since I let myself loose and I could only feel that comfortable with him.

I'm rambling at this point.

Yashiro took that light away from me, ever since I left and I've never been able to get it back. I sighed as I opened the bag and found sandwiches an apple, peanuts, and an orange juice box with some candy laying at the bottom.

I smiled softly at the cute lunch he prepared for himself, he must care about me enough to give it to me to eat. I took the sandwich and brought it to my mouth and took a bite.

It was difficult to taste anything at first because of how I felt but I didn't let that stop me from eating plus Hayden had stronger and bigger physic so he might just pick me up and throw me out the window with the littlest of effort.

I pulled out my phone scrolling  through the messages to see the few my parents had sent me because of this morning and a few my friends messaged me, I didn't have the strength to talk back to them, instead, I read the messages and didn't reply.

I looked at Austin's contact to see him sending me a message saying "Goodmorning, see you at school" I smiled reading that message, it's nice to know there's at least one person in this world who still cares about me and wants nothing in return.

I finished my lunch and laid back down, the stress and exhaustion I had built up over the past weeks caught up to me, and finally, I felt I could rest. Just as shut my eyes and took sturdy breaths Austin was the only person on my mind, who's been on my mind.

I can't deny it anymore.

The hurt, the pain, it itches and burns when I think of denying it. The logic is simple yet the calculations are all wrong. I laughed. I can reason with myself all I want like I have been doing but, that won't change the fact that I Indeed have a crush on that boy.

I'm embarrassed to even think about it, like another male just wait until my father hears about this it will blow his mind.

I listened to the stepping in the hallway of students roaming the passages, I truly wish Austin would keep me company but a lass, I told him I was fine and didn't need his help in that state I was in. My doubts took over and I fully believed Austin was in his seat in class patiently waiting for me or flirting with his girlfriend...

His girlfriend-

"Issac"