Swipe Right for Catfish

Chapter 5

Alright, Ron might know me a little too well. This guy perfectly summed me up in about a hundred and forty characters and four photos. Maybe I should hire Ron to be my marketing agent. By the way, this app was amazing—there were so many hot singles in my area! I was swiping so much Dad asked if I was playing Fruit Ninja. Unfortunately, I didn't get any matches, so I threw in the towel and tried again the next day.

In just eight hours, I went from no matches to a smorgasbord of women on my phone, and let me tell you, it was a huge confidence boost—I was now a verified hottie. I looked through the sea of people who decided that they wanted to be graced with my presence. I preferred girls with shorter hair, so I kept only the cutest long-haired girls. Although I was tempted by a girl that had a unibrow. I wondered if she could make a "W" with it.

I swiped left on any girl doing a duck face. Although I must have missed a trend because there were a ton of girls on horses. The profiles I hated most were the girls that only had group photos. How am I supposed to know who I'm talking to? I definitely did not want to find a partner in a game of roulette. Overall, swiping through all these girls was great for my mental health. I felt like a king picking out his bride.

Now, you're probably thinking I shouldn't judge a book by its cover. But I would like to argue the person who created that phrase has clearly never bought a book and, dare I say, picked out anything in their life. I mean, who gets something without checking it out first? That would be as irresponsible as me walking into a car lot and instead of searching for the right car and doing a test drive, the salesman blindfolds me and says, "Point in any direction, and that's your ride." I might walk off that lot with a fucking horse and wagon.

However, throughout all of those matches, one girl, in particular, stood out from the rest. The top of her hair was black like ash that faded into orange, yellow, and red, like little embers slowly going out. Her black eyeliner made her hazel eyes stand out even more. She looked as if she had spent countless hours in the sun, given how tan she was. Each selfie and photo looked as if she had hired a professional photographer. This girl was the next level, and I needed help—I had to see Jackie.

I made my way out of my office and headed to the elevator. On my way there, Jose from IT came around the corner. "Hey, Autumn, how are you today?" he asked cheerfully. Jose was such a sweet guy. He would always check up on me, and if I remember correctly, he dated Jackie once.

"Not now, Jose. I'm on a mission." Sadly, I didn't have time for pleasantries—there was no time to waste. "We'll talk later." I walked past him and went into the elevator. When I was inside, the doors started to close. I heard someone scream to hold the elevator. I stuck my hand out, and the doors receded into their slots. When I saw who shouted, I wished I had just let the doors close. It was that creepy building janitor.

"Oh, heavens to Betsy. Autumn, thank you so much for holding the door for me," he said, pushing his janitor's cart into the elevator, blocking my escape. "Here, let me hit the button for your floor."

"Thanks, Mr. Janitor man, it's floor ten," I said reluctantly. I was trapped behind his cart. With the floors punched in, the elevator doors began to shut, leaving me trapped with him.

"Autumn, you're such a comedian. You know you can call me by my name sometimes," he said, smiling and looking away. I would call him by his first name if I knew it. "I see you have nice shoes on today. How's your left big toe? Is it still as beautiful as ever?" There you have it, and now you know why our unfriendly neighborhood janitor is a creep. I wore open-toed shoes once, and he's been obsessed ever since.

"It's as lovely as always," I replied, lifting myself up with the help of the railing. I perched myself on top of it. We were two floors away from my destination. I needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

"What kind of nail polish do you have on?" There was so much excitement in his eyes. "Is it purple like an eggplant?"

"No, not this week. Oh, look, this is my floor." Jumping off the railing I was perched on, I swimmer-dove over the cart, doing a barrel roll into the hallway.

"Maybe you can take a––" The elevator doors cut him off before he could finish. Fuck that guy.

I looked to my left and saw a dude standing there, shocked. "Sorry, I almost tackled you. I was practicing my diving form."

"Next time, save it for the pool. Someone could have gotten hurt," he said, walking away.

Saying sorry one more time, I made my way to Jackie's room. When I finally got to her office, Jackie was on the phone with someone. I waved to get her attention. When she noticed, I pointed to my cell phone. I sent her a text. "Hang up. It's important."

She responded, "I doubt it. I'm almost done, anyway."

"Tell them I'm dying," I texted back.

"Are you really?"

"On the inside, if that counts."

"It doesn't. Sit there and wait."

"Fine," I texted back, defeated. Turning around, I sat down next to the door. I heard footsteps coming up the hallway. It was James, walking toward me. James was one of our part-timers at the agency. We also went to the same university. Sweet kid, he might work for the company full-time when a position opens up.

"Hey, Autumn. Why are you on the floor?" James asked, walking up to me. His blond hair was in a ponytail. He had a clipboard and laptop in one hand and some papers in the other.

"I'm just waiting for Jackie to get off the phone. You look like you're heading somewhere. Do you have a meeting?" I asked.

"Yeah, my supervisors want a pair of fresh eyes on a new project they're creating for a new client, so they have tasked me with critiquing some of the proposed ideas. I usually go straight to Penultimate after work every day to think of new ideas for my team. But would you mind looking at what I've got?" he asked.

"Sure thing!" Standing up, I grabbed the paper. I forgot how tall James was until he stood right in front of me. He was at least six feet tall. The ad was for a new client, creating an organic cereal company. I didn't know if the actual cereal tasted any good, but the picture in James's ad sure looked tasty. "This looks great. I would mention they should add a nice slogan to go along with it. Check with the company, and see if they already have one." I handed him back the picture.

"Thanks, Autumn, that means a lot!" James said, taking the picture. He was so happy it looked as if I had given him a million dollars. Putting the picture in his bag, he looked up and said, "What do you need to see Jackie for?"

"Oh, you know, since I'm in charge of all creative projects and Jackie is our lead accountant, we have impromptu meetings to see if new projects are within budget." Other times, it was to gossip, but he didn't need to know that.

Before he could say anything else, I heard the door open next to me. "Hello, James. Are you ready, Autumn?" Jackie said, now standing in the door frame.

"Hey, Jackie! I have a big project coming up, and I am excited to share it with my team," James said, still feeling the high from my compliment.

"That's nice." Jackie turned to me. "Let's start the meeting, Autumn. I have another call soon."

"See you later, James, and good luck on the project," I said, waving goodbye and walking into the office.

"Thank you, and enjoy your meeting!" James said as we walked into the office and closed the door.

Thanks for reading this episode! Let me know your thoughts about the story by leaving a vote on the chapter and commenting your thoughts. I look forward hearing from you!